Convincing a spouse?

[Donna D.]

I think you need to find out exactly what the objection surrounds. Is it camping or is the trailer ownership. Then you get all your ducks in a row... with facts and figures. Then you present your case. Look at as being similar to presenting a solution to a major problem... to your boss. I've had to do that several times recently. First I ask for the problem, then I work on gaining answers for a solution... then I present my case (argument). There's nothing worse than saying "I'll get back to you on that," when a question is asked and I don't have the answer at hand.

First, how valuable is adding to your childrens memory bank? I'm closer to 60y/o than 50y/o and I love the childhood memories I have about camping with my family. Those memories are what you want to develop for your children too. They'll last a lifetime, which is more than some video game system or expensive vacation lasts.

[Amanda D]

Thank you all for your advice.
I am the leader. My husband is more of a follower. We have a really great relationship
and work well together and parent well together. Any other time in the past that we have had to make a decision, I have had to be driving force behind it. Most of the time I do ok and he ends up saying "That was a good idea, I'm glad we did that..." I know right now it's just hard because the economy stinks and it's a scary time to spend money on anything, especially something that seems like a luxury, like a trailer.

I have decided to save every nickle and dime I can. When I have enough money I'll buy it myself. It might take a few years, but so be it. My mom purchased the pop-up back in 1988 by writing the grocery check out for 20 dollars more every week and then saving the cash in a drawer.

You guys are great. I am glad to be here and will lurk around until I have a trailer of my own.

[nathanj04011]

We were kinda in the same boat as you, with a 6 and a 2 year old. We saw a 13ft Scamp at an acquaintance's house and my wife fell in love. I liked the idea, but to me there seemed like more important, less expensive things we needed. So, we got them, sat around the house for the entire summer while we watched camper trailers stream by.

It frustrated my wife greatly, and she finally convinced me to research campers online while she combed the internet for campgrounds that looked more like resorts to temp me with. After I read this site, the Casita Forum, and the Casita Club for a while, I too got hooked and we decided to get a Casita. We had to wait a year to order and get it due to saving up time and money, but we finally did it.

I'm here to tell you that our summers and falls have been the highlight of our family life, and have already made an indelible impression on our kids, now 9 and 5. We have spent over 110 nights camping since 2007, and have had the opportunity to visit places in the area we never would have if we had not purchased our trailer.

I'm now, like you, a huge proponent of making lasting memories for our kids, and also see our weekends and vacations camping as time that our kids get both our "relaxed" attention that means so much more than the distracted attention that they sometimes get when we are home and trying to get "work" done.

And while I too would like to avoid debt when possible, I also know if we had waited till we had cash in hand, our kids would still be waiting and we would have missed out on 2 incredible years.

So my advise would be, convince him however you can, and go for it. Sure, its payments, but think of it as investing in your kids (and your) memories, and tying your family in a closer bond. And, should you determine you don't like it, you could sell the trailer for probably what you bought it for, and thats that.

Good luck, and keep trying!!

[Mia R]

Do what I did, just go buy one!!! ROFL

[Darwin Maring]

To get permission could result in a lifetime of gnawing at your nerves.
To get forgiveness may take far less time and gnawing so purchase what you want and beg 4 forgiveness.

[Rarebird]

Amanda,
I'm with Mia's suggestion!

Marjie

[Ian-Vicki]

I figure that if you buy it, you won't have to convince hubby it was a good idea, the trailer and the camping experiences will do that for you.
cheers
Ian

[Amanda D]

I might love you guys.

[Roger H]

Amanda,

You won't convince someone who's unwilling to be convinced. Trailers are a lot of fun if you expect them to be fun, but can be a lot of work if you don't know what to expect.

My advice would be just to tell him you want to get one, and you want him to enjoy it. But if he doesn't enjoy it, that's ok 'cause you'll take the kids out in it without bothering him with it, because YOU enjoy it. And then do it if he doesn't want to. My guess is that he'll actually enjoy it despite his reservations.

It's a fallacy that trailering saves money over traveling by staying in hotels and restaurants, but there are some advantages... you don't have to carry luggage in and out every day or pack the car, you're always sleeping in your own sheets in your own bed, and you know your "facilities" are always clean. You don't have to deal with surly clerks or leave tips.

The bottom line is that if you're willing to take on the work of pulling a trailer by yourself to get to the fun stuff with it, then he may be willing to buy into the same plan.

Roger

[Amanda D]

Very good point.
He likes camping, and likes camping in a camper a lot more than tenting, although he is not a
complainer and would do either without the grumbling.
After talking with him a bit about this over the last week, it's really just about spending the money, not the actual ownership of a trailer or the care and maintance of it that he's hesitant about.
He's not a risk taker. He hates to spend money. I'm frugal too, but I'm not a wife that ever goes out and blows money on things like clothing and purses-- I'm thrifty too and I never spend money on myself. I think that is why I am so stuck on this. To be frank, I feel like I bust my arse at home with the kids, I'm a good wife, I don't ask for much, and I want this trailer for US. Not just for me.

So anyway. Yeah. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Sorry to use this message board as my own personal therapy session.

[Roy in TO]

May I suggest that you partake in a little retail therapy?

Regarding financial risk, there is very little depreciation on a used trailer unless you abuse it, these things tend to appreciate after a while. Although not quite as fast as the current cost of a new one. Many of the older ones sell for more used than what they cost new. (not comparing the dollars comparative value over the years)

I disagree with Roger saying the cost is a fallacy. We've taken many trips with our trailer that we could not have afforded to take if we had to rely on hotels/motels.

[CindyL]

You know Amanda, I suggested the financial reason earlier, but I forgot the additional money that goes with fixing it up and making the trailer yours. So when you actually get to buy one, remember that there will be additional costs. I believe that we spent something like another one thousand on each of our two trailers, fixing them up.
So, depending on the trailer you choose, keep that in mind. If you buy a fixer-upper, there will be additional money. Even if it is camping ready, there will be some costs.

CindyL

[Robin G]

Very good point.
He likes camping, and likes camping in a camper a lot more than tenting, although he is not a
complainer and would do either without the grumbling.
After talking with him a bit about this over the last week, it's really just about spending the money, not the actual ownership of a trailer or the care and maintance of it that he's hesitant about.
He's not a risk taker. He hates to spend money. I'm frugal too, but I'm not a wife that ever goes out and blows money on things like clothing and purses-- I'm thrifty too and I never spend money on myself. I think that is why I am so stuck on this. To be frank, I feel like I bust my arse at home with the kids, I'm a good wife, I don't ask for much, and I want this trailer for US. Not just for me.

So anyway. Yeah. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Sorry to use this message board as my own personal therapy session.

Amanda, show him this post. He will understand. And though I don't have kids, I know you bust your rear to keep a home and kids growing. You deserve this, find a way to make it happen. It may take some time but it will be worth the wait. Robin

[theresa p]

amanda.....you say your husband is frugal. that he doesn't like to spend money. yet he golfs. this is not a family activity. camping is. and despite your "good relationtionship", that still means that he takes time out of your family weekend to go golfing without you and/or the kids. if he compromised and spent the $$$ for the trailer and you agreed that once your site was all set up and if he wanted, you'd be agreeable to him slipping away to golf for a few hours while you enjoyed the pool/playground or whatever, at the campground, i would bet that it wouldn't be very long before he stopped slipping away to golf and stayed around with you and the kids because he found it more fun!!
good luck! getting our trillium was the BEST purchase we have ever made.

[Joy A]

Hey Yeah, that's right and there's some awfully nice little golf courses around the country.

But if you get a trailer don't let him be a road warrior. Long trips with few stops will be boring for the kids even though the destination maybe wonderful. They'll only remember the long boring ride pulling "that" trailer every summer.

[Donna D.]

If you'd like to read a fabulous fiberglass trailer story about a mother and her two children that made a wonderful trip... and terrific memories, read this one by JenPB:
9,611-mile maiden voyage, 1 woman, two kids, a tiny trailer and lots o' miles

[Judith K.]

This is a useful discussion. thanks.

Once our old faithful Nissan bites the dust, I'll agitate that its replacement be a used tow ready minivan--just in case I can ever talk my DH into the idea of getting an egg. It's not that he's totally against it, it's just never in the foreseeable future.

[Ian-Vicki]

I have two suggestions, well, more actually but Ill try to be brief.
No. 1. — Ask him to read this thread. He will get an idea of what these trailers mean to people and their families.
No. 2 — Ask him what he is willing to put into his kids' educations. Traveling is an education in American history and geography, and promotes a knowledge of other people and places. Cross the border and you've got a whole other country to explore and learn.
No. 3 — Okay, one more than I promised. We, too, were in your position. I was home with the kids, we both worried about money and we came up with enough for a pop-up. (We call them tent trailers this side of the border.) And when we got tired of the up and down of that, it was an old VW Westfalia. I feel like we're in with the rich folks now that we've got our Burro.
Our 24-year-old daughters will talk for hours about the camping memories.
You only go around in this life once, and we don't know what lies ahead to throw our plans out of kilter. If you can do it, do it now.
Vicki

[Roger H]

And one last thought that hasn't been covered really well... you can still find a fiberglass trailer for not a lot of money... and if you find one that needs a little TLC and you take the time and effort to make it shine, it will actually appreciate rather than depreciate. Further, there's a ready market for these things, so it's not like your cash is tied up in some long-term investment. If you watch the "for sale" ads here, you'll see that they sell very quickly.

Perhaps that may be a key to the financial issues... and you can buy a pretty nice trailer and use it all summer for the price of a week at Disneyland with hotel and airfares...

Roger