Convincing a spouse?

[Amanda D]

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I suppose this could be like any other "major" purchase. I am obsessed with getting
a fiberglass trailer and my husband seems to find this all mildly amusing with a pinch of annoyance thrown in. I grew up camping in a pop-up, all my best childhood memories revolve around camping, and I want to offer the same to my kids (2 and 5)

We have tent camped as a family, but it's just not cutting it anymore. We need to upgrade to make everyone comfortable. My husband likes camping, and would be great fun and supports the whole camping idea-- it's just that he doesn't see the money for a trailer as something that is reasonable right now, or maybe even ever for that matter. He's so frugal, careful, and worried about "what ifs of the future" which is a blessing (some of the time.)

To further complicate matters, I choose to stay at home with the kids, so the opportunity to save my own money to buy it myself is slim, since caring for one's own children doesn't pay in anything other than spills, kisses, hugs, and loads of laundry.

Has anyone ever been the the skeptical spouse boat? Is there any hope for my cause?

(Insert dramatic sigh.)

Thanks.
Amanda

[Herb Sutton]

Think about how many people and how many beds. We had pop-ups while the kids were growing up. They were roomy and economical, but lacked the facilities of a TT. After retirement we bought a TT. We worked our way through a few TTs before buying our Casita 17SD. It is great for a couple. My wife was skeptical at first, now she loves it. She never tires of hearing how "cute" it is. It tows as easily as a small pop-up.

We started out with a tent. We looked around the campgrounds and realized the folks in the pop-ups were up off the ground and had real mattresses to sleep on. With the TTs we also had bath and galley.

[Marc]

The first night we camped out in our Trillium we camped with friends who were in a tent. There was a thunder and lightning storm and lots of rain. The next day our friends were soaked, we were dry...that made it worth it for me. Do you know someone with a camper you can borrow to show your husband how good it is?

[CindyL]

Send him to this website and/or go to youtube and type in fiberglass trailer. Then pick which one you want to show him.

CindyL

[Keith Williams]

Has anyone ever been the the skeptical spouse boat? Is there any hope for my cause?

(Insert dramatic sigh.)

Thanks.
Amanda

I know your feelings, hang in there!! Find a little paperback book called the "ONE MINUTE SALESPERSON" It will tell you how to sell anyone on anything.

Basically, you must create a word picture in his mind that gives him really warm and fuzzy feelings. Now what could you entice him with..... hmmmm...... maybe, for example, "Honey, just imagine you and I with no Kids along, no Pets, just out in some really remote, beautiful setting, a bottle of wine, and....

On well, you get the picture.

Good luck,

EKW

[Roy in TO]

Amanda,

Is your husband handy at fixing things?
Does he like projects / hobbies?

[Bryan L.]

My wife wanted absolutely nothing to do with getting a trailer. I presented it to her this way - first, I found a 16 foot Scamp for a really good deal. I then said let's buy it and try it for one year. If at the end of the year, we find that we don't like it or don't use it, we will sell it. That way, we would make our money back and then some. I also had to agree to pay for it with the sale of some of my toys such as small motorcycles and old school pedal mopeds. This is how it worked on my house at least! Good luck.

[Nancy]

Hi Amanda,

You will probably not like what I say and your husband will be happy I am posting.

I do not like debt. Paying interest on a home was a necessity. Also on the family car back when.

We did not buy a travel trailer until we could pay cash. When our son was young it was a tent for us as the discretionary money didn't exist.

If I truly liked the "camping" aspect of camping I would probably want a pop up tent trailer for a family as there would be so much more room. That would be a much more economical route to travel too. I'll bet you could find one for far fewer dollars.

The only model of fiberglass I would want with a family would be the fifth wheel or the Scamp 16 foot model that has no toilet. It has a back dinette, side dinette and front bunks. If we wanted to go bigger than our 13 that is the model the two of us would get. There are few of those around so it would be very hard to find used.

Could you take in a couple of kids to earn and bank money for your dream? Maybe when you got half way your husband would feel better about spending the money?

Nancy from MN (my glass is always half empty, I'm no fun at all)

[Amanda D]

He is semi-handy. He's taken on some projects over the last year despite no background and done a great job. He's more handy with the golf club though.

Here is what I have argued--
He likes long road trips. I don't. I said with a camper, I'd do long road trips.

That LONG Honey-Do list- Poof. Gone. Get the camper and I'll pretend that I am totally OK with the ugly medicine cabinet that needs replacing.

The memories line-- that the kids will look back when they are grown and thank you, just like I have done with my parents.

A few years from now, the kids won't want to be caught dead in a camper with us. So now is the time to do it!

I have not tried the visual sales pitch, but I am not opposed to proposing a weekend with NO children deep in the woods with bottle(s) of wine. I think that is a great way spin it.

I do think that a trial 1 year would be a good option as well. I just hope that we can find a camper that is 1.affordable 2.that I know what I am buying and don't get us into a lemon which would totally destroy my future chances of an upgrade.

It just might come to waiting 2 years.... I know patience is a virtue but I feel like time is a wasting and I want to be out there now! I do babysit occasionally and could save enough of my own money for a $4,000 camper in a few years. I just don't want to wait that long.

[Nancy]

Ah, long road trips. No tent trailer for me if that is the case. We do very long road trips with our 13. In that case take a look at the Scamp 16 web site and look for the floorplan with no toilet/privacy room. A porty potty should work for you for emergencies. Something about that 16 just feels so much more roomy. Some people manage with kids and the 13. Not me.

Nancy

[Carolyn Patterson]

Amanda,

I feel your pain. Anything I want to buy I have to atleast ask/talk about it for more than a month (DH said that means it's not just a fly-by-night thought) and practically do a "presentation" of the item ,it's use, how we'll benefit by having it and most importantly..."How much".

Like yourself, I too have incredible fond memories of camping when I was a kid and went every summer with my best friend and her family. I wanted to "Give" those good times to someone else.

We had a pop-up when we lived in Florida and camped often at Disney World (we don't have kids btw) then. I'd do all the planning, packing, food shopping etc, all DH had to do was come home from work (I worked midnight shift at the time) change his clothes and get into the car. We'd get to the campground and go to set up the camper which I had put up and down more times than he, but he wanted to tell me he knew more about it. It always was a major heated argument during the 'pop-up' and set-up process.

We sold that pop-up for what we paid for it 5 years later and bought a cottage..Whew, finally!

Then we moved here to Ohio and our first summer I wanted to 'explore' the state but we didn't have an RV (tenting was out!! Too much work for me!!) - so we rented a Motor Home for a week. OMG, what a luxury THAT was!! It was then my husband leanred about "back in, plug in, put out the awning and relax"...no more arguments! Well, no way could we afford a motor home, so I talked about a Travel trailer. Same (almost) simple set up..back in, level, plug in..relax. (Ok, so there's more but...you know..I was trying to sell him on this!). After researching, dragging him to look at used TT (stickies) with stained roofs from leaks, I discovered the Fiberglass world and this web site. We bought a used one and how I closed the sale was to explain to him that it would hold it's value, we'll have it for a while, and get our money back if we take care of it, so it's virtually "Free".

2 years ago this September we found the one we were supposed to have...10 miles from our home, didn't need any work done to it, and 1/3rd cheaper than a new one! NO WAY could he have said no to this idea!! He loves it as much as I do and is getting more comfortable at giving "tours" when other campers stop by to inquire. (27 years in law enforcement, he's kinda stand offish about people invading his space...but he's getting better!) He asked me last night during dinner "So are we going to find a Egg Rally to go to this summer??" I about fell off the diningroom chair!!

I wish you the best of luck!!

[CindyL]

Present it to him as how much money he will save, not how much it costs. Our UHaul has changed our summers. When the kids were growing up, we never could afford vacations, so the best they got were trips to the local zoos (of course, one or the other or both of us were usually always in grad school too and the hubby coached baseball), because we could not afford the hotel rooms, and tent camping was no one's favorite, least of all mine.

Now, because the cost of a campground is a third of what hotel rooms cost, we simply decide where we are taking our UHaul for two weeks each summer. We have been out west twice (Yellowstone and Rocky Mountain) and out east (Gettysburg, Williamsburg, and Yorktown) since we got our first fiberglass trailer. Those trips would not likely have been made without our trailer. The hubby thinks that it has already paid for itself in the savings over hotel rooms and the cost of always eating in a restaurant.

This summer we are going east again to Plymouth, Cooperstown, and Niagra Falls.

CindyL

P.S.: Every spring we take students and donations out to the Lakota on Pine Ridge Reservation in our trailer where we volunteer. We carry the luggage and donations in the trailer and then stay in it for the week, rather than the bunkhouse with all the students.

[Keith Williams]

One more thing Amanda. If he likes long road trips, he would LOVE an Egg. I don't refer to our Casita as a "Camper".... I refer to it as a "Travel Trailer" because that's it's primary function as I see it. I was a "road warrior" for many years in Sales. I absolutely LOATHE dragging all my / our stuff in and out of Hotels night after night. There is also that increasingly talked about factor of cleanliness in hotels. Bedbugs, filth on the bed spreads, rugs, etc. I don't care how much you pay for a room, those factors DO exist.

I'm absolutely convinced that even with the increased cost of fuel, there is no cheaper way to travel than with an RV, especially one that doesn't cost as much as some house. We just completed a 3,000 mile trip with our Casita and spent a grand total of $150 for lodging costs. Granted, we stayed in a few Wal Marts, Relative's driveways, and some inexpensive (but great) RV Parks. If you use Passport America, Good Sam, and some others, you can cut your costs dramatically.

So, in summary, here's the bullets that I believe:

1- You eat better and cheaper when you travel because you have food with you and you can stop at rest areas, etc, and fix meals and let the kids run a bit.
2- Travel becomes less structured because you can always find a place to overnight, like a Wal Mart, or Camp ground. If you have to reserve a hotel, there is a pressure to get to it each night.
3- You get to meet a lot of neat people when RV'ing.
4- You always have a Potty with you (assuming your Trailer has one) if you or the kids need one. And it's YOUR grunge, not some total stranger's.
5- You are always in YOUR sheets, with your head on YOUR pillow. Did you ever think about who or what was on that pillow in a Hotel, last night???? Don't!!
6- If you buy "right" you can always get your money back in a couple of years if you decide to sell. I, or others on here will be glad to help you if you find something you are considering.
7. I agree that Pop-Ups are great for family camping trips but NOT for travel. We've had two of them and my Shirley says there will never be another one "with this husband". I think they should come with blank Divorce Papers.

I could go on and on but there's a few more things. For you.

Regards,

EKW

[Steve Dunkel]

How about the decisive, quick and it's over approach, sort of like pulling off a band-aid with one swift stroke instead of the slow painful pull? Do the research yourself if necessary, find what you want and and buy it. Then schedule a nice outing that everyone can enjoy. Be the master of your domain. Chances are everyone will join in on the fun.

Edit - OK, my wife saw this and strongly advised me to tell the truth. I generally sheepishly suggest, try to come up with lame arguments supporting my suggestion, whine, pout, give the silent treatment, get mad and if all else fails get on my knees and beg.

[Robin G]

I am crossing my fingers for you! Everyone has had some very valid points (both sides). I grew up camping, water ski'en, fishing, etc.......... It created wonderful memories, just last year a friend of mine from childhood sent myself and my Mom a beautiful letters, Thanking my Parents for always allowing her to go camping with us and for me always being her friend and wanting her to go. She said it's some of the best memories she has as a teenager. My Parents where wonderful about taking a bunch of our friends with us. I guess they figured what the heck, keep the kids camping with us longer.

I have only tented 2 times in my whole life. Once as a baby ( my Mom said never again, so Dad bought a trailer the next week) and once a few years ago after we sold our Class A. Believe me when I say, once you have camped in a camper, pop up, bumper pull, or motor home, it's hard to go back to a tent. At least for me! It's not my thing! Of course all of us here are fiberglass junkies, but maybe starting out in a pop up would be a good thing for your family. One thing I think of, since you say he's money wise, is that with a pop up more than likely you could store it at home rather than pay storage fee's, now that is not saying you can't store a fiberglass travel trailer at home. I just don't know your storage options. Now as for the investment, I like the point that you could buy it, try it and sell it if it wasn't meeting your families camping needs. We know most likely you would regain your investment if you sold it a year from now. But no matter what you guys end up doing, keep camping it is a investment in your childrens future! Again, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you! Good Luck! Robin


This a picture of my lil brother and me camping in 1964

[Roy in TO]

He is semi-handy. He's taken on some projects over the last year despite no background and done a great job.
...
It just might come to waiting 2 years.... I know patience is a virtue but I feel like time is a wasting and I want to be out there now! I do babysit occasionally and could save enough of my own money for a $4,000 camper in a few years. I just don't want to wait that long.

You might want to consider buying a wreck then. You can both work on it. Here is a link to what I bought for about $500 USD and what I've been able to do with it so far. Lets say it is worth a lot more now than then. If I needed or wanted to move up to a bigger trailer it would be much more affordable. (I'm thinking for when your kids get bigger.) IMO the only accessory that would help with a family is a pop up kitchen shelter that can be had at Wally World for about a hundred.

The deciding factor for me was Donna D. saying consider it a hard tent on wheels till you get it to where you want it before I even got one. Oh yeah, my wife and most people thought I had lost my mind, now they like it. And yes she has helped with some of the work.

Edit to add:
There is an Amerigo that needs work posted for sale in MN in the forums here ($1200 or swap for a small boat). That is a good size for a small family.

[Roy in TO]

I forgot to mention, forget promising to drop the honey do list. If you buy a wreck, it will only move from the house to trailer. The list actually gets bigger.

[Roy in TO]

Amanda,

You don't say where in WI you are, but there is a meet on right now in Bayfield WI area.

Maybe if he could see the layouts of a few for himself, he might appreciate these trailers a little more.

[Time K]

Amanda, you can see, there is a lot of enthusiasm here for the trailer.

My .02 if you're asking..Don't try to convince your husband, he'll see through that and besides he might relent to please you but it may come back to haunt you if your trailer experience doesn't pan out. It's not for everyone. AT the end of it all you want a fully engaged spouse on your travels or it's not worth it. Just enjoy what you both like to do for now and perhaps one day buy one for yourself and invite him along..or not.

[Bill MacDermod]

He is semi-handy. He's taken on some projects over the last year despite no background and done a great job. He's more handy with the golf club though.

It just might come to waiting 2 years.... I know patience is a virtue but I feel like time is a wasting and I want to be out there now! I do babysit occasionally and could save enough of my own money for a $4,000 camper in a few years. I just don't want to wait that long.

Go right for the throat honey and tell him If he want to play golf then I should be able to do something equally as expensive, everytime you go play golf I want the same amount that it cost you to play a game of golf right here. (holding out your palm)
When the $40.00 (or what ever golf cost in your area) costs him $80.00 instead he's either going to cut his golf or you will have your trailer money twice as fast. haha