I love my children, honestly.... - Page 2 - Fiberglass RV


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Old 05-25-2006, 11:28 AM   #15
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Hey Roger- I totally agree with your parenting. My best friend took your same approch. While her daughter was in high school her mother took care of most of the expenses and chores so she could focus on getting good grades. Her daughter got such good grades that she ended up with a full 4 year scholarship to a great private college. Her mother helped out here and there with some expense during college but her daughter worked while in school all 4 years. I am happy to report she just graduated this past weekend top 5 in her class, has almost $7,000 in savings and the job offers are rolling in as I type. She has one offer to work for the FBI and another for a big reseach company. My friend taking a strong stand with her daughter and making her take on responsibilites has a lot to do with where her daughter is at today.
Your not a bad parent in any way, just a parent that wants his children to be able to stand on their own two feet instead of yours. Nothing wrong with that.
I wish I could get my husband to look at things like you do. He thinks we should buy everything for our daughters. I find the things we buy, they don't take care of very well. They loan things out and don't get it back, throw stuff around in their rooms, leave things laying around here and there. Easy come, easy go, mom and dad will buy me another is their attitude. If I make them buy something, I find they take much better care and track of it.
I am with you all the way.
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Old 05-25-2006, 01:05 PM   #16
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Yes, Ellen... there's nothing wrong with wanting the best for our children. Parents, IMHO, go astray when they try to give them the best. The most important things that a parent can give a child are the tools that child will need to succeed on their own, and none of that has to do with 'stuff' or money. It has everything to do with interpersonal skills, education, and the knowledge about how to manage one's life and make one's own way.

I've always told my kids that the breaks I've gotten haven't happened by chance. I've prepared myself and been waiting in the right place at the right time with the right skill sets to be able to accept a challenge and be successful. We make our own breaks in this world. It's whether or not you recognize when they come your way and are able to take advantage of them that distinguishes those who are successful at whatever they choose to do.

Roger
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Old 05-25-2006, 11:23 PM   #17
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Roger-

Well said, Amen to that.
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Old 05-27-2006, 03:01 AM   #18
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ellen,

i think it is odd that your story of how children should be independent is posted above your quote by Thoreau. wasn't he the guy who lived in a tiny cabin in the woods and walked home to his mom's dinner every night?

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Old 10-10-2016, 05:49 PM   #19
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Kids leave but they come back! We bought our last unit in '05 and included bunks "in case the kids wanted to come along" They never did, even once. Now 10 years later they spend more time in the "back country" than we do. The good part, now they have their own units! Kids who are raised camping, live camping !
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Old 10-10-2016, 07:31 PM   #20
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My son is having a mid life crisis so he bought an airstream and is traveling in it full time for a year. Of course now he wants a career change to be a writer and does not want to work at his lucrative former career even part time and has decided to write a novel despite not ever having done any major writing.

So he will soon run out of money so he just experimented with work camping. Too funny for words is going from a six figure income to making the equivalent of $12.00 an hour cleaning up restrooms and picking up litter and taking out trash, cleaning up the waste dump area too.

He also has his wife to support as she does not want to work at the job she got a degree for which could also bring in a substantial salary, so they are both cleaning restrooms now. He is a programmer and he can do that work while traveling.

Kids....you just can't tell them anything, they simply have to hit rock bottom first to learn some lessons such as yes jobs do get boring but there is food to put on the table and gas to put in the tank and unemployment does run out and you have to park that airstream someplace and it is not likely to be a free space when it is 30' long.
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Old 10-10-2016, 07:42 PM   #21
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My son is having a mid life crisis so he bought a brand new, 30' airstream and is traveling in it full time. Of course now he wants a career change to be a writer and he does not want to work at his lucrative former career even part time and has decided to write a novel despite not ever having done any major writing.

He will soon run out of savings and unemployment so he just experimented with work camping. Too funny for words is going from a six figure income to making the equivalent of $12.00 an hour cleaning up restrooms and picking up litter and taking out trash, cleaning up the waste dump area too.

He also has his wife to support as she does not want to work at the job she got a degree for which could also bring in a substantial salary and is also a job that can be done while traveling full time in an RV, so they are both cleaning restrooms now. My son hates manual labor, especially cleaning, so I am rolling with laughter about this new career opportunity.

Kids....you just can't tell them anything at any age, especially a male going through a mid life crisis. Actually cleaning restrooms for less than a 10th of his earning potential is just what he needed as a dose of reality. I am very supportive of his becoming a writer but he does need to eat until that ship comes in.
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Old 10-10-2016, 08:39 PM   #22
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I spoiled my kids rotten. Now they are both in their 30's, both have high status jobs and both are in stable relationships.
I'm living breathing proof that you CAN spoil your kids and they'll turn out just fine thank you very much.
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Old 10-11-2016, 01:21 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger H View Post
We have three kids too... 25, 22, and 17 (the last one still at home and in high school). I am a baaaaaad parent.
Roger
Best post I've seen about raising kids Roger, good job. Especially as it's 10 years old and how kids/parents attitudes have changed since then. I did the same thing with my girls and they have been on their own for 10+ years and doing well. I do remember asking my folks why they bought my younger sister a car when I had to work, save and keep mine together with bailing wire.............they said cuz she's a girl. Looking back they were probably right.
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Old 10-11-2016, 07:22 AM   #24
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My kids lived comfortably, had nice Christmases etc. But I'm a FIRM believer that IF you give a kid EVERYTHING they want, never say "NO", give in to everything.... that most will grow up to appreciate nothing! My son had a young friend that was the "only child". His parents gave him everything he wanted, he could do NO wrong..... He surprised my son one night when they got grown. He told my son, "I promise you one thing, when I have kids, they're NOT getting everything they want!" That's proof enough to me.

My kids are now 33 and 28. They respect us, work for everything they have and are successful. For what it's worth, I still would not/will not allow them to back-talk or be rude to my wife- their mother!

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Originally Posted by reeves99 View Post
I spoiled my kids rotten. Now they are both in their 30's, both have high status jobs and both are in stable relationships.
I'm living breathing proof that you CAN spoil your kids and they'll turn out just fine thank you very much.
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