Just a thought

[honda03842]

We have some friends heading off on a European river cruise, good RV friends who we have fun with most days during the winter. Interestingly to me I have no interest in going.

As we get older I find our time more reserved, more focused on narrower parts of life. My primary focus is Ginny and travel with her. It's not critical where we go, it's simply being together. It's almost the same as when we were sixteen, just enjoying being together, probably more of a flutter than, but no less fun now.

[rgrugg]

Just being together is what I miss most since my wife died. I still travel and am currently in Camp Verde,AZ until Feb 16. Travel is not much fun alone but neither is sitting home alone.

[Steve L.]

I’ve never been married but I have had a long term relationship and what I miss is the sense of teamwork. In all the world there was only one team looking out for us. There was always a give and take being negotiated between us but turn outwards and we were a united front. Well, I thought we were negotiating, but the SWMBO term certainly applied. I call my current state as being without adult supervision.

I use what I call the “Chocolate Chip Cookie” analogy. If I eat the best cookie in the world, you have only my word for it. But if I share the cookie with a friend who agrees, it somehow validates my judgement no other way can. Cookies, sunset views, moments in general are better shared.

[Timber Wolf]

But Norm, you should also disclose that "you have been there and done that" so to speak. Maybe some who have not want too and want to share the experience with someone special.

[honda03842]

Tim,
I guess I didn't do a good job relating the thought. One of my good friends was a book editor. She once gave a sermon on turning 70. Her message is that when you turn 70 "you will do more of what you like best". That may mean more fishing, or what ever. My choice is RVing with Ginny. True Tim Ginny and I have had many adventures over our lives and could choose new adventure, maybe starting another company or creating another product. I'm positive Ginny would say OK.

For me the adventure is Ginny. Maybe it's knowing we won't have each other forever. Actually I'm not sure what it is but I feel it's the right choice.

Bob,
I'm sure losing your wife can produce a difficult time.

Ginny has clearly told me and more clearly told our two sons and her sisters that they must see that I find a travel partner should she die before me. That I should continue to enjoy the road.

I rather expect that would be hard for me but it's nice to have 'permission', to know that it would not be disrespectful to her memory.

Steve,
I do like Chocolate Chip cookies. Most everything is better shared and this from an a lone wolf. A second person can be an extension of your mind.

I know when I work on technical problems, a second person, even if the person has little problem or technology knowledge, a person to reflect on, even if primarily I'm teaching, the probability of solving the problem jumps when explaining the problem to another person..

[Elizabeth Nevil]

So beautiful to see true love expressed and lived...well done...bravo...thank you for sharing the depth of your feelings and intimacy in the truest sense of the word.

liz

[honda03842]

Thank you Elizabeth. I'm mighty lucky on many levels..

It was chance meeting Ginny and we just happened into Bahia Honda State Park and saw a bunch of RVers in the bright Florida Sun, and deciding on the spot to quit working and take to the road.

Little twists in the road of life, walking away from the old,opportunities taken.

One never knows where little choices might lead.

[David Tilston]

Norm, You an Ginny are both an inspiration. I might agree that you are lucky, but I suspect that much of your "luck" is just good choices and the right attitude. You don't worry about what you want, as much as you cherish what you have. This is not to say you are complacent. No, you squeeze every moment for as much as it will give. Bravo! A life well lived. I am in awe.

[honda03842]

David,

As you may have know, Ginny's code is a good part of the magic of my life.

She frequently says in one way or another (focusing on the latter half) "Happiness is not getting what you want, it’s appreciating what you have".

When I was about 50 Ginny told me that she had achieved all her principal life goals by 27. Her goals were simple but primary.

As I live I consciously try to incorporate more of her into me.

As to luck, my son's little league coach used to say to his young players (10-12 years old) "Luck is what losers say winners have". Though a tough statement, I feel he was referring to the importance of preparation.

One must be ready for opportunity, actually looking for opportunity. It's apparent that most of the time many don't see opportunity.

As I've aged, I have an improved sense of what's important, of where my focus should be.

Thank you for the kind words.

[Elizabeth Nevil]

... and the courage of an open heart connected on a soul level to the essence of self, willing to go within to know self, let go of what no longer serves your highest good, moving forward on your deepest instincts of your spirit...no matter what...taking all risks knowingly and consciously... no matter what... leaping into love with honor and trust! Honor and courage are always rewarded...in time.

[honda03842]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth Nevil

... and the courage of an open heart connected on a soul level to the essence of self, willing to go within to know self, let go of what no longer serves your highest good, moving forward on your deepest instincts of your spirit...no matter what...taking all risks knowingly and consciously... no matter what... leaping into love with honor and trust! Honor and courage are always rewarded...in time.

Elizabeth,

I've read and re-read your post; it certainly strikes sympathetic vibrations

Over my 72 years I often wished that I had a video of my entire life, maybe better yet the key moments that have made me who I am (though I think genetics is a big part of it all.)

I now look more closely at the inner person. I'm sure that the special inner person is what attracted me to Ginny. I have a difficult time separating nurture from nature, but in the end it matters little to me the source of goodness. Know I try to look inside more than ever.

Everyone can become better than they are...

Elizabeth, thank you so much for the thought provoking words.

[Scouter Dave]

Originally Posted by rgrugg

Just being together is what I miss most since my wife died. I still travel and am currently in Camp Verde,AZ until Feb 16. Travel is not much fun alone but neither is sitting home alone.

I can easily relate... in Florida until the end of March, Topsail Hill SP next week for two months. Having a great time, meeting new people, making new friends, writing, enjoying it all really but..... and it's a big BUT....
I am alone. And somehow... it always comes back to that....
Scouter Dave...

[Scouter Dave]

You guys are two very special people. I knew it when I met you and I have said it before. Many of us envy you a little for a wide variety of reasons but the love and the bond that you have for each other [and share with us from time to time] is very high on some people's list.
Stay safe out there, keep on going until you can't and then go out and do it again. Love to you both... and thanks.... Scouter Dave.