Remedial Marriage Manual - Fiberglass RV


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 02-25-2015, 06:51 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
Cyndi B.'s Avatar
 
Name: Cyndi
Trailer: 2010 Scamp 5th Wheel/2007 Toyota Tundra/2015 Tundra
Montana
Posts: 1,105
Registry
Remedial Marriage Manual

Subject:
A Remedial Marriage Manual
Life's Demerit System
All married men will attest to some real wisdom in this email...
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:


SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Jack Daniels. (-5)
PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)
It's her pet Schnauzer. (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-10)
Tina has breast implants. (-40)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
Send this on to all of the gentlemen you know to refresh them on the point system.
(and to the ladies you know with a good sense of humor!)
__________________

__________________
Living and working in the Oil Patch but home is still Iowa.
Cyndi B. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2015, 07:47 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
honda03842's Avatar
 
Name: Norm and Ginny
Trailer: Scamp 16
Florida
Posts: 7,300
Cyndi B,

Interesting little statement, definitely written with a little humor.

"MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. "
Marriage is something I've thought about since high school realizing I probably would get married. Always seeking happy people and trying to understand how they secured happiness.


Successful marriages are based upon making each other happy. Points should never be counted and negative moments mostly ignored.

I knew the first part and learned the second from Ginny.
If your partners not smiling try to figure out why and work for a smile.
__________________

__________________
Norm and Ginny

2014 Honda Odyssey
1991 Scamp 16
honda03842 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2015, 08:01 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
Borrego Dave's Avatar
 
Name: Dave
Trailer: Casita SD17 2006
California
Posts: 2,916
Cute Cyndi, but I've always been told no matter how many points a guy makes it always goes back to zero or negative #'s after one oops
__________________
Borrego Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2015, 08:09 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
james kent's Avatar
 
Name: james
Trailer: Boler 1984
Ontario
Posts: 2,938
It's called the school of hard knocks.
Good if you learn it.
Hard knocks if you don't.


Rule no. 1..... You're always wrong.



Sent from my iPad using Fiberglass RV
__________________
james kent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2015, 08:38 PM   #5
Member
 
Name: Jeff
Trailer: 2016 Escape 19, 2007 Tacoma 4X4 V6 tow package
California
Posts: 32
In discussions with my married friend we call these H-points for Husband. Hard to gain and easily lost. Since we are engineer and scientist background we've decided they are based on quantum physics and the mere act of looking at them, acknowledging them, or asking about them instantly evaporates them ;-)
__________________
Jeff in Salinas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2015, 08:43 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
rbryan's Avatar
 
Name: Robert
Trailer: 2015 Escape 19 "Past Tents" 2015 F150 Lariat Ecoboost Crew Cab
Texas
Posts: 895
Registry
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff in Salinas View Post
In discussions with my married friend we call these H-points for Husband. Hard to gain and easily lost. Since we are engineer and scientist background we've decided they are based on quantum physics and the mere act of looking at them, acknowledging them, or asking about them instantly evaporates them ;-)
Well then Jeff, there's something I've always wanted to ask a scientist:

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's nobody around to hear it.....ah....nevermind.
__________________
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy an RV. And that is pretty close."
rbryan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2015, 09:02 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
Name: None
Trailer: None
None
Posts: 2,727
I learned in a college psychology class that women are unhappy by nature and need a reason to be happy . Men are happy by nature and need a reason to be unhappy . I discredited the theory as sexist in my youth but now that I am older ,with a wife ,4 daughters and 7 granddaughters , I wonder ?
__________________
steve dunham is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2015, 09:15 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
kirkman's Avatar
 
Name: Jason
Trailer: 2007 Eggcamper & Homemade Tear Drop
New York
Posts: 656
Registry
Rule #1...my wife is always right!
Rule #2...when my wife is wrong I immediately refer back to rule #1 and answer yes dear.




Sent from my iPhone using Fiberglass RV
__________________
Jason
If you think you are to small to make a difference just try sleeping with a mosquito - The Dally Lama
kirkman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2015, 05:59 AM   #9
CPW
Senior Member
 
CPW's Avatar
 
Name: Carl
Trailer: 2015 Escape 5.0TA
Flori-duh!
Posts: 934
Registry
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirkman View Post
Rule #1...my wife is always right!
Rule #2...when my wife is wrong I immediately refer back to rule #1 and answer yes dear.




Sent from my iPhone using Fiberglass RV
If you are out in the woods and your wife or no other woman is there to hear you say something or to see you do something, are you still wrong?
__________________
CPW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2015, 09:42 AM   #10
Senior Member
 
Paul O.'s Avatar
 
Name: Paul
Trailer: '04 Scamp 19D, Tacoma 4.0L 4door, SB
ex VT, now CO
Posts: 1,265
In a casual conversation like this I tend to utter the words "Vive la difference," and watch the reactions with amusement.

And yes, the OP's manual was one of the better ones around.
__________________
Paul O. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2015, 10:19 AM   #11
Senior Member
 
Name: Doug
Trailer: Scamp 16 ft.
Missouri
Posts: 129
A sure fired answer to the old question, does this make me look fat. You respond, you have never looked better!
__________________
Flyboyscamp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2015, 10:22 AM   #12
Senior Member
 
David Tilston's Avatar
 
Name: Dave W
Trailer: Trillium 4500 - 1977, 1978 (2), 1300 - 1977, 1973, and a 1972
Alberta
Posts: 5,314
Registry
Quote:
Originally Posted by CPW View Post
If you are out in the woods and your wife or no other woman is there to hear you say something or to see you do something, are you still wrong?
That is my favorite sexist joke.

Standard response:
Female: YES!!!, (my wife's, "who let him out by himself?")
Male: heh, heh, heh.
__________________
David Tilston is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2015, 10:32 AM   #13
Senior Member
 
David Tilston's Avatar
 
Name: Dave W
Trailer: Trillium 4500 - 1977, 1978 (2), 1300 - 1977, 1973, and a 1972
Alberta
Posts: 5,314
Registry
Quote:
Originally Posted by steve dunham View Post
I learned in a college psychology class that women are unhappy by nature and need a reason to be happy . Men are happy by nature and need a reason to be unhappy . I discredited the theory as sexist in my youth but now that I am older ,with a wife ,4 daughters and 7 granddaughters , I wonder ?
The way I say almost the same thing is:
Women have a stockpile of tragedies that they draw upon during conversation. Their discussions seem to be a competition to tell the most tragic story.

Men have a stockpile of triumphs that they draw upon during conversation.

Neither approach is the wrong.

Sexism is just the recognition that there is a difference between the genders. Call me sexist.
__________________
David Tilston is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-26-2015, 01:50 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
kirkman's Avatar
 
Name: Jason
Trailer: 2007 Eggcamper & Homemade Tear Drop
New York
Posts: 656
Registry
Quote:
Originally Posted by CPW View Post
If you are out in the woods and your wife or no other woman is there to hear you say something or to see you do something, are you still wrong?

You bet! I'm always wrong. Just ask her.


Sent from my iPhone using Fiberglass RV
__________________

__________________
Jason
If you think you are to small to make a difference just try sleeping with a mosquito - The Dally Lama
kirkman is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Secret To A Long And Happy Marriage Doug Mager Jokes, Stories & Tall Tales 18 05-04-2009 07:03 PM
sharing in marriage... steven jones Jokes, Stories & Tall Tales 2 04-18-2008 11:04 AM
Dating and Marriage Benita Jokes, Stories & Tall Tales 5 12-27-2005 09:23 PM
Famous sayings before marriage Renee K. Jokes, Stories & Tall Tales 5 12-16-2005 12:32 PM

» Upcoming Events
No events scheduled in
the next 465 days.
» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.