Suddenly Solo - Page 2 - Fiberglass RV

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Old 10-17-2015, 11:23 AM   #15
Name: Lee
Trailer: Casita
Posts: 66
I don't know you Glenda, except from reading your blog and seeing you online . So very sorry about your loss. I think this is something we all worry about, losing our spouse, so indeed I can imagine your pain.
I hope you are able to meet up with someone or several someone's,that are able to help you out getting back into the grove.
Quartzite might be a good goal! I am really thinking of going this year....and will probably be solo as my husband isn't so keen on rv travel these days.

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Old 10-17-2015, 11:37 AM   #16
Name: Dennis & Linda
Trailer: Leocraft 17ft fiberglass rv by Monarch Industries
Posts: 64

Glenda, my wife & I would also like to extend our sympathy at your loss. From all the posts, you can see that you have a lot of support. Hopefully this will help you feel that you are not alone at this time or anytime. All the best in the future. Dennis & Linda

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Old 10-17-2015, 11:39 AM   #17
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Name: GlendaLaine
Trailer: Casita
South Dakota
Posts: 16
Thank you. I think I needed to know I made at least one good decision. And I figure there'll always be some scene, smell, song, or errant memory that would dissolve into a puddle of tears as long as live. Thx for preparing me.
Glenda, Jeff, & Kira (the Keeshond)
'08 17' Casita LD, 2010 Brown Toyota Tundra 4x4
FULL TIMING since June 2011
Casita Escapes blog & photo albums
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Old 10-18-2015, 06:28 AM   #18
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Name: Bob Ruggles
Trailer: 2015 Escape
Posts: 1,381
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my wife 2 1/2 years ago (2013). I continued wintering in Arizona. Coming up will be the third winter alone. It's difficult but does get easier. people will probably tell you that they know how you feel. Unless they have experienced it, they definitely DO NOT! Others will tell you that they can imagine how hard it is. They definitely CANNOT! What I can tell you is that it does get easier. Also know that there is no one way to grieve and there is no timeline either. Mourning is very much an individual process. There are no rules for it. It will get better. I found and am sure that you will find that the people on this forum are very supportive. If you need help learning to hitch up, to back up, or anything else, I suspect that you could post asking if some member nearby would help you learn these things. Also, consider attending one or more of the fiberglass rallies. You have my sympathy. One last thought: someone may tell you to"just get over it". You won't ever. Time helps. You will, I believe, compartmentalize it so it's not in your every thought. Your life without him will get better though it will never be the way it was. How could it? He's gone.
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Old 10-18-2015, 07:01 AM   #19
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honda03842's Avatar
Name: Norm and Ginny
Trailer: Scamp 16
Posts: 7,350

Originally Posted by GlendaW View Post
Thank you all for your condolences & suggestions. I've had tons & tons of support from both local & cyber family/friends. I suspect (worry??) the hardest part of this grief tho will beat me up when I'm finally traveling, alone in 'his' pickup, passing previous places we've been. I'm not really that strong - just.stubborn & unwilling to suffer the bad weather that all locations have. I'very acquired Jeff's itchy feet. I want to chase the weather that fits my clothes. But I don't want to be isolated when all this finally soaks in. Talking (writing) about my feelings is the only way I know to recognize & organize the jumble of emotions. They hide inside me (& kick & punch) until I can let them out. I can't seem to suffer in silence. I frequently talk to the walls, but much prefer people. Didn't know you all were part of a therapy group, huh?
Some of us are older and recognize that it's only a question of time before we're in the same state of mind as you. I can't conceive of being without Ginny. She's tried to prepare me for a life alone by telling the kids and me to get out their and continue to live. She's specifically told our children to get me a "new navigator".

Actually I'm pretty good at navigating but I suspect she's speaking of navigating thru life not roadways.

Life is about finding paths and the fact that you seem to be so open is a positive sign that you'll find a path. Of course a good life partner is not to be forgotten but he like all of us want you to continue to live well.

The road can be a good source of newness, a chance to escape the dolting old and seek new parts of yourself and the world itself. Truly wishing you well. If you're winter wanderings ever get you to FL stop for a visit. I'll PM you our address and contact info.
Norm and Ginny

2014 Honda Odyssey
1991 Scamp 16
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Old 10-18-2015, 07:56 AM   #20
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Name: Donna D
Trailer: Escape 5.0 TA, 2014
Posts: 24,583
Bob is correct. I've never lost a spouse, so while I can offer you my sincere sympathy, truly... I've never been in your shoes.

What I can offer you, is what it's like to be a solo traveler. It's empowering and at times terrifying. You are 100% responsible for everything from hooking up to site setup. None of it is difficult, just sometimes tedious.

Maintenance for tug and tow are now yours alone. And, that includes fueling up the tug and deciding all on your own what to eat for dinner. That's what I think is empowering... cereal or steak?

You CAN do this Glenda, I promise you. If you're like me you have two choices. Stay home or go. Personally, I don't think staying home is much of a choice when there's so much to see/do in our wonderful world.

Wishing you the very best
Donna D.
Ten Forward - 2014 Escape 5.0 TA
Double Yolk - 1988 16' Scamp Deluxe
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Old 10-18-2015, 09:30 AM   #21
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Name: Steve
Trailer: Scamp 19
Posts: 170

Sorry to hear of your loss, but do hope you get among friends at Quartsite in Feb. Sorry I won't be there this year as I will be back at sea until April. You can continue as long as you want, there are many of us out there that are willing to help when you need some.
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Old 10-18-2015, 10:05 AM   #22
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Name: GlendaLaine
Trailer: Casita
South Dakota
Posts: 16
Wow, this & the Casita groups have blown me away witH all the support, offers, compassion, & suggestions. I've finally realized that Jeff KNEW his liver was failing, that he was dying, & was beyond any cure or fix, that his liver was the source of multiple physical pains & malfunctions. He knew medical attention couldn't help & he would have preferred to just die in the Casita. So glad he didn't or I probably couldn't return to it. He reminds me of cats who instinctively hide illness & injury & prefer to go hide & die alone. He wanted to keep me from freaking out & getting him help sooner. I miss talking to him, but this summer has not been fun; boring, solumn, frustrating. He started withdrawing from me last winter, preparing me to be without him maybe, or just too consumed with pain.

I'm going to continue traveling full time simply because I donít see any viable option. I don't want the physical responsibility of property or even the financial drain of an apt if I still travel. Mostly I want the freedom to chase the weather where I can be comfortable outside & change the scenery when I get bored. The Casita gives me all the security I need along with the freedom. And with cell fons & internet, it's almost hard to really be alone. Jeff weaned me well as I was already doing much more of the outside stuff than before. I'm sure I have some bad times ahead as this all soaks in, but I'm OK letting my friends give me a hand (or ear). Thank you all again. Hope you don't get burned out by my current drama & whinning.
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Old 10-18-2015, 12:09 PM   #23
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Name: theresa
Trailer: Outback (by Trillium) 2004
New Brunswick
Posts: 1,433
Glenda---we won't tire of supporting you. This is a family. You are part of the family.

The advice you received from Bob and Donna are especially significant. You might find yourself re-reading those two posts and smiling each least, I hope you will.

Many hugs,
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Old 10-19-2015, 09:51 AM   #24
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Name: Dave W
Trailer: Trillium 4500 - 1977, 1978 (2), 1300 - 1977, 1973, and a 1972
Posts: 5,656
Wow Glenda, I am both very sorry for your loss, and in awe of your strength. There is little that I can offer in terms of advice, but I will gladly hear your story. I wish you only the best. Thank you for including us.
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Old 10-19-2015, 09:54 AM   #25
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Name: kootenai girl
Trailer: 2010 Escape 17B
British Columbia
Posts: 1,368
So sorry for your loss Glenda. I really enjoy reading your blog and your cyber friends are certainly here for you at this difficult time.

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