The biggest problem with the informal survey you did is that the people were all self-selected. ie They decided to use or not-use the extra gear. So - the survey doesn't account for the possibility that people who like to drive fast tend to get the gear (ie flipping the cause/effect relationship). I find it just as believable that people who drive at reasonable speeds don't experience that many towing 'issues' thus, don't get the extra stuff. The speed freaks are much more likely to run into problems, which then might cause them to run out and get the extras. Lord knows they aren't gonna take that as a hint to SLOW THE HECK DOWN!
For myself - I don't have the extras. I'm pulling a pretty small, light
trailer with a full-size van too. Yeah, a bit of overkill. In general, I keep the speeds pretty sedate, but we almost exclusively camp in-state and aren't driving for hour after hour after hour either. Some of it for me is kids and age. When I was younger and hadn't yet spawned I was much more of a leadfoot. I never owned a single car or motorcycle where I didn't know EXACTLY what it's limits were on the freeway. I don't do that anymore. I'm just not in that much of a hurry to get anywhere.