I stumbled across this when searching through my file of recipes. Was originally posted by Jana J. of Lenapah, OK on this site on Nov. 10, 2002.
Jana J.'s Fruitcake
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup butter
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
juice from 1 lemon
1/2 cup nuts
1 gallon whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Get a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried droot gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts.
Add on table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to murn off the bixer. Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whishkey again.
Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?
retyped by Tom Trostel