A complicated recipe - Fiberglass RV


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Old 01-06-2008, 12:51 AM   #1
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Busy?

Let’s say you ask a person if she has read this or that, and she says, “Oh, reading! I am too busy to read!” Like, even the paper, which is full of short articles.

That makes me wonder what they are busy doing.

I imagine they might be engaged in exercise. This can consume 30 minutes a day, three times a week, from what I’ve heard.

Perhaps they keep a spotless house, I know people like that as well. They say: “I can’t go out: I’m doing the floors.”

The Floors? Doing “the floors?” Exactly how much time and attention does a floor need, never mind each and every one of them, and why must they all be Done at the same time?

They might be busy with empty milk containers, rinsing them out, and carrying them on foot to the Recycling Centre, even though driving would be faster. Or sorting through Christmas cards they received this year and slicing the ones with no writing on the left hand side in two to use next year as Xmas Post Cards! After the sorting and the slicing and before the sending comes storing and possibly dusting.

They might be cooking. I saw one recipe on TV, one time, where you pluck a duck. (There are some steps prior to this.) Then you take this plucked duck and you smoke it, which takes many hours, then you grind it and you set it aside.

While this duck is set aside, there is no time for reading, because you are making the dough for the ravioli. You take some flour and other ingredients, and make a dough and you roll it out and if it becomes sticky you add more flour.

You let this dry, but while it is drying, there is no time for reading or exercising or even watching a cooking show on TV, because this is when you need to chop the fresh garlic by hand. And you take the bread crumbs which you have allowed to dry, and you mix it with other yummy things which you or someone else has previously obtained.

Now it is time to return to the smoked duck, and make it into sausage. There are casings involved at this point. Things are mixed and grilled, then you allow to cool.

I had always considered the opportunity in the instruction “allow to cool” as the point at which one might kick back a bit, but in this case that is not the case.

There is the sauce to consider. It has many ingredients, some of which involve fetching veal stock (roasting a dead baby cow’s bones for three days, scraping up the brown bits often, adding numerous esoteric spices and expensive liquids) then refrigerating til use.

The pasta dough is now ready to be cut in tiny little perfect squares, and a small dollop of the smoked duck sausage is placed in each. You turn each into a lovely little package, sealing the seams with egg yolk lightly and previously whipped, and bring to a boil, just until they rise to the surface.

Two tiny perfect raviolis are placed on each plate, then a drawing out of a tiny bit of the sauce over them with a special spoon in an artistic, unhurried way, and there’s your appetizer.

They might be on the phone, waiting to press One.

“Thank you for calling this number. Please listen carefully to the following prompts, as we change them capriciously from time to time. If you want to know how to speak Latvian in Three Easy Lessons, please press Two. For service in Croatian, please press Three. To order a new yoga mat, press Four. For your chance to win a years’ supply of sausage casings, press Five.

“Please note your call may be recorded so we can monitor how many annoyed snorts you make while listening to these prompts.

“Your business is important to us. If this makes you laugh, please press Six.

“At any time during this recorded message, please feel free to press “0” which will not get you an Operator, as hoped, but will bring you back to the beginning of this, the First Circle of Hell.”

Busy?

Let’s say you ask a person if she has read this or that, and she says, “Oh, reading! I am too busy to read!” Like, even the paper, which is full of short articles.

That makes me wonder what they are busy doing.

I imagine they might be engaged in exercise. This can consume 30 minutes a day, three times a week, from what I’ve heard.

Perhaps they keep a spotless house, I know people like that as well. They say: “I can’t go out: I’m doing the floors.”

The Floors? Doing “the floors?” Exactly how much time and attention does a floor need, never mind each and every one of them, and why must they all be Done at the same time?

They might be busy with empty milk containers, rinsing them out, and carrying them on foot to the Recycling Centre, even though driving would be faster. Or sorting through Christmas cards they received this year and slicing the ones with no writing on the left hand side in two to use next year as Xmas Post Cards! After the sorting and the slicing and before the sending comes storing and possibly dusting.

They might be cooking. I saw one recipe on TV, one time, where you pluck a duck. (There are some steps prior to this.) Then you take this plucked duck and you smoke it, which takes many hours, then you grind it and you set it aside.

While this duck is set aside, there is no time for reading, because you are making the dough for the ravioli. You take some flour and other ingredients, and make a dough and you roll it out and if it becomes sticky you add more flour.

You let this dry, but while it is drying, there is no time for reading or exercising or even watching a cooking show on TV, because this is when you need to chop the fresh garlic by hand. And you take the bread crumbs which you have allowed to dry, and you mix it with other yummy things which you or someone else has previously obtained.

Now it is time to return to the smoked duck, and make it into sausage. There are casings involved at this point. Things are mixed and grilled, then you allow to cool.

I had always considered the opportunity in the instruction “allow to cool” as the point at which one might kick back a bit, but in this case that is not the case.

There is the sauce to consider. It has many ingredients, some of which involve fetching veal stock (roasting a dead baby cow’s bones for three days, scraping up the brown bits often, adding numerous esoteric spices and expensive liquids) then refrigerating til use.

The pasta dough is now ready to be cut in tiny little perfect squares, and a small dollop of the smoked duck sausage is placed in each. You turn each into a lovely little package, sealing the seams with egg yolk lightly and previously whipped, and bring to a boil, just until they rise to the surface.

Two tiny perfect raviolis are placed on each plate, then a drawing out of a wee bit of the sauce over them with a special spoon in an artistic, unhurried way, and there’s your appetizer.

They might be on the phone, waiting to press One.

“Thank you for calling this number. Please listen carefully to the following prompts, as we change them capriciously from time to time. If you want to know how to speak Latvian in Three Easy Lessons, please press Two. For service in Croatian, please press Three. To order a new yoga mat, press Four. For your chance to win a years’ supply of sausage casings, press Five.

“Please note your call may be recorded so we can monitor how many annoyed snorts you make while listening to these prompts.

“Your business is important to us. If this makes you laugh, please press Six.

“At any time during this recorded message, please feel free to press “0” which will not get you an Operator, as hoped, but will bring you back to the beginning of this, the First Circle of Hell.”

First Circle of Hell? Oh yeah, I’ve read about that.

-30-






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Old 01-06-2008, 04:20 PM   #2
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Too busy to read? NEVER Too busy to pluck a duck or do all the floors. Often. Mind you I have managed to take making a simple meal to the extreme. Simple doesn't always translate to simple, fast and easy - at least when I tackle it.
Jean
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Old 01-06-2008, 06:06 PM   #3
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Why don't Dr's offices have Mens magazines?
Why are they dated several years ago?
Why are the good recipies missing?
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Old 01-06-2008, 07:18 PM   #4
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Quote:
Why don't Dr's offices have Mens magazines?
Why are they dated several years ago?
Why are the good recipies missing?
What does this reply have to do with "Jokes, Stories and Tall Tales"?
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Old 01-09-2008, 01:07 AM   #5
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Six
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Old 01-09-2008, 07:09 AM   #6
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Hi: A complicated recipe is... while baking it you find you omitted one or more ingredients...or put in the wrong amount of another ingredient!!!
Alf S. North shore of Lake Erie
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:34 PM   #7
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I have been writing a regular column for the local paper for over ten years now, sometimes I like to put it "out there" before publication to see what kind of responses I get. This one was a doozy!

One relative replied by saying how much she had to do -- very funny: "I have piles and piles of piles" and another complained she had too much time on her hands -- "oceans" of time, every day.

I must say I am intrigued by the response of "Six!" which seems, hmm -- about right.

Lucky for me, I live in a small town and will hear "yeas or nays" re this column when I bump into people at the supermarket for months to come.

Usually by that time I have forgotten the column to which they refer because I am totally absorbed by picking up camping supplies and have forgotten what I wrote WAY back in January.

Here's the thing: Spring is on its way! (And that's a guarantee.)
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