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11-29-2019, 09:47 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Trailer: Bigfoot 21 ft Front Bedroom
Posts: 701
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Bear Removal Service
A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages and sure enough, there was an ad for
Up North Bear Removers. He called them up and the man said he would be there within an hour. The bear remover arrived and got out of his van with a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12 ga. shotgun, and a mean-looking heavily scarred pit bull. The homeowner asked what the plan of action was.
The bear remover said. "I'm going to place the ladder up against the roof and go up there and knock the bear off with the bat. When he falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab the bear by the testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued and I will put him in the cage in the back of the van."
The homeowner asked,What is the shot gun for?
If the bear knocks me off the roof, you shoot the dog!
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11-29-2019, 11:03 AM
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#2
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Junior Member
Name: Jack
Trailer: 2013 Casita Liberty Deluxe 17'
New Hampshire
Posts: 4
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Thanks!
Thanks for the laugh!
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11-29-2019, 05:32 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Name: John
Trailer: Escape 21, behind an '02 F250 7.3 diesel tug
Mid Left Coast
Posts: 2,941
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I blurrily read this as 'beer removal', and was gonna volunteer to help you remove all your beers.
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11-29-2019, 07:11 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Name: Kelly
Trailer: Trails West
Oregon
Posts: 3,046
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John in Santa Cruz
I blurrily read this as 'beer removal', and was gonna volunteer to help you remove all your beers.
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if your vision was blurry it sound as if you have already helped remove quite a few beers from someone's fridge
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11-30-2019, 12:08 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Name: Jerrybob
Trailer: casita
Washington
Posts: 703
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Speaking of bears....
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. He turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make love. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?" The woman says, "You can have any prize from the bottom shelf."
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12-01-2019, 07:14 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Trailer: Bigfoot 21 ft Front Bedroom
Posts: 701
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Singles ad
A singles ad that appeared in the Atlanta Journal:
Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good looking girl that loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips, and cozy winter nights by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I*ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Call: xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Daisy.
Over 1,500 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black labrador retriever.
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12-04-2019, 12:48 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Name: Harold
Trailer: 1975 Scamp, 13-foot
Redding, California
Posts: 390
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12-04-2019, 02:51 PM
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#8
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Member
Name: Bush
Trailer: Vagabond
Nevada
Posts: 32
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A daft man was out in the woods hunting and comes across a naked woman lying in a field. He asks her; Are you game? She replies; Sure I'm game. So he shot her.
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12-13-2019, 09:01 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Name: Kenneth
Trailer: Scamp
Wisconsin
Posts: 1,879
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There are no new jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruce H
The homeowner asked,What is the shot gun for?
If the bear knocks me off the roof, you shoot the dog!
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FROM:
Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974)
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12-14-2019, 12:20 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Name: Jerrybob
Trailer: casita
Washington
Posts: 703
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Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read “BEAR LEFT” so they went home.
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12-14-2019, 12:47 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Name: jim
Trailer: 2022 Escape19 pulled by 2014 Dodge Ram Hemi Sport
Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,710
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That is funny.......
__________________
Jim
Never in doubt, often wrong
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12-14-2019, 05:22 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Trailer: Escape 17 ft
Posts: 8,317
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerrybob
Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read “BEAR LEFT” so they went home.
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I recall driving the coast of Oregon and seeing roads with a sign that read "No Outlet". I presume the signs were required, since there seemed to be outlet malls everywhere else.
__________________
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
- Bertolt Brecht
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12-14-2019, 05:26 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Name: jim
Trailer: 2022 Escape19 pulled by 2014 Dodge Ram Hemi Sport
Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,710
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and here I thought they operated off 12v...
__________________
Jim
Never in doubt, often wrong
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12-15-2019, 12:05 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Name: Jerrybob
Trailer: casita
Washington
Posts: 703
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn Baglo
I recall driving the coast of Oregon and seeing roads with a sign that read "No Outlet". I presume the signs were required, since there seemed to be outlet malls everywhere else.
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Actually Glenn....those signs were recently installed for people driving those new electric cars.....you'll see more in the future.
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