Bear Removal Service - Fiberglass RV

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Old 11-29-2019, 09:47 AM   #1
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Bear Removal Service

A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages and sure enough, there was an ad for
Up North Bear Removers. He called them up and the man said he would be there within an hour. The bear remover arrived and got out of his van with a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12 ga. shotgun, and a mean-looking heavily scarred pit bull. The homeowner asked what the plan of action was.
The bear remover said. "I'm going to place the ladder up against the roof and go up there and knock the bear off with the bat. When he falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab the bear by the testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued and I will put him in the cage in the back of the van."
The homeowner asked,What is the shot gun for?
If the bear knocks me off the roof, you shoot the dog!


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Old 11-29-2019, 11:03 AM   #2
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Thanks for the laugh!

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Old 11-29-2019, 05:32 PM   #3
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I blurrily read this as 'beer removal', and was gonna volunteer to help you remove all your beers.
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Old 11-29-2019, 07:11 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by John in Santa Cruz View Post
I blurrily read this as 'beer removal', and was gonna volunteer to help you remove all your beers.
if your vision was blurry it sound as if you have already helped remove quite a few beers from someone's fridge
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Old 11-30-2019, 12:08 PM   #5
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Speaking of bears....

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. He turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make love. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?" The woman says, "You can have any prize from the bottom shelf."
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Old 12-01-2019, 07:14 PM   #6
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Singles ad

A singles ad that appeared in the Atlanta Journal:

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good looking girl that loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips, and cozy winter nights by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I*ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

Call: xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Daisy.

Over 1,500 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black labrador retriever.
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Old 12-04-2019, 12:48 PM   #7
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Thanks everyone. Brightened my day!

You cannot have a proud and chivalrous spirit if your conduct is mean and paltry; for whatever a man's actions are, such must be his spirit. --Demosthenes
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Old 12-04-2019, 02:51 PM   #8
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A daft man was out in the woods hunting and comes across a naked woman lying in a field. He asks her; Are you game? She replies; Sure I'm game. So he shot her.

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