Blonde jokes

[Roger H]

Two young women were speeding down the highway at 90 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "Any cops following us?"
The blonde passenger turned around and had a long look at the road behind them. "Yeah, looks like it."
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again: "Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup. ...."

what do you call 10 blondes standing in a circle?


a dope ring

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at an academic function, and his beautiful blonde hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"
The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

Q: How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?

A: There's M&M shells all over the floor.

and last...

A man was about to tell a dumb blonde story when the first of 5 blondes at the next table said:"Mister, I have a black belt in karate, my blonde friend here is a professional boxer, her neighbor here is a wrestler, and the other two blondes here are construction workers..Do you still intend to tell your joke?"
"I guess not," said the man. " I don't want to explain it five times."

<drumroll... ba da bum!>

Roger

[Jackie]

Do you know why blonde jokes are so short?

So men can remember them.....

ba.da.bum, ba.da.bum....

[Chester Taje]

ba.da.bum, ba.da.bum....

[Roger H]

BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like? She finally asked.

The policewoman replied "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

[Rick]

How about this one Rog?

Blonde Detective Training

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to
become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a
suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds
and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast
because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture
shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes
the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her,
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha!
He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you
two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING
because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best
answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to
the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is
your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds"
. . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and
says, "Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really
doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few
minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on
that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming
smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE!
The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular
glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.

[james kent]

Redhead.....Blonde with an attitude.

[Roger H]

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.