Definitions

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WORDS NOT YET IN THE DICTIONARY:

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all the germs.

ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

PETONIC (peh ton' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting thephone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

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But Morgan, If I don't telecrastinate the one calling will not have time to get over their phonesia before I answer and will leave them completely phonestarical.

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Orginally posted by Thomas and Janifer

But Morgan, If I don't telecrastinate the one calling will not have time to get over their phonesia before I answer and will leave them completely phonestarical.

You're right as usual, Jana Journeycake Pullstrailerwithyellowescape. ;)

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Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

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Hi
I try not to use words I can't spell. There all to big for me.:laugh

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A good friend from Texas (El Paso) sent these to me - they are a hoot!! :wave :)

How tuh talk Texan!

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving. - Not overly intelligent.
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Really not very welcome at all.
Tighter than bark on a tree. - Not the most generous of people.
Big hat, no cattle. - All talk and no trousers.
We've howdied but we ain't shook yet. - We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.
He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow. - He has a pretty high opinion of himself.
She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth. - My goodness, that woman can talk.
It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs. - We really could use a little rain around here.
More 'fraid than a long-tail cat in a room full of rockers. - Somewhat lacking in courage.
Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly. - Appearances can be deceptive.
This ain't my first rodeo. - Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs.
He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch. - Not the most handsome of men.
They ate supper before they said grace. - Living in sin.
Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope. - Stop arguing and do as you're told.
As full of wind as a corn-eating horse. - Rather prone to boasting.
More fun than two puppies and an old sock. - amusing but at other's expense.

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that was a great chuckle (and a few - ok quite a few) apply to me. :o

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okay, Ronnie, this Okie needs a little more explanation.

**This ain't my first rodeo. - Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs. **
I thought the first one means something like you are experienced, but that translation is very strange and means nothing to me. ?? but I have lived a shelterd life. :wak

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>>A good friend from Texas (El Paso) sent these to me - they are a hoot!!

Yep, they're a hoot, all right. What's funnier yet is that many do talk like that here in Texas. The scary part is that we don't even have to have a dictionary to understand them!

Couple more:

Looks like she/he's been rode hard and put away wet - Rough around the edges.

This dog's too old to hunt - I've been there, done that, and too tired to care about it anymore.

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Suz - those are good ones!
Jana - I don't understand them all, either, but I'm not from Texas, I need a translator for the translations! :red

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Here's one translation that I found on the web:

... here’s what Charles Earle Funk says in “Hog on Ice” (Harper & Row, New York, 1948). “To teach one’s grandmother to suck eggs – To offer needless assistance; to waste one’s efforts upon futile matters; especially, to offer advice to an expert. This particular expression is well over two hundred years old; it is just a variation of an older theme that was absurd enough to appeal to the popular fancy...

Yep. Sure 'nuf. It's the same thang as ''This ain't my first rodeo.''

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Thanks Suz. you are so good at that search and find. NOW that one I understand. :yep

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I always understood "Paint your butt white and run with the antelope" to mean "We done been caught doing what we hadden't otta be doing and we had best run, hide , and blend in with the crowd"
And once upon a time my ex wife , who at 20 was a pretty little thing, was described by my great uncle as "Pretter than a new born colt"
A man that worked at Shell oil with my grandfather was prone to be unpredictable and some times plain confused, Grand dad told me " he's only got 3 cylinders loaded and he don't know which ones", that was my clue to stay clear of the fellow.
From my fathers side came the expression"Booray Money" maybe spelled wrong, but it meant free unaccounted for cash to party with or just blow on a whim.

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... tighter than a tick.

Pronouced as two words: ty-der-in-a tick.

Usage: Man, 'em two's tighter 'n a tick.

Meaning: Nothing or no one can come between them.

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Orginally posted by Charlie Crouchet
From my fathers side came the expression"Booray Money" maybe spelled wrong, but it meant free unaccounted for cash to party with or just blow on a whim.

Charlie,

Texans used to play a card game called "Booray," although I don't think it was spelled that way. Maybe that's the origin of "Booray Money." :cblob

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:shg