AND ! it is only marginally better up island in Campbell River!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winter in Victoria - Dec 14
This is a hoot and so very true. The panic is on for Vancouver Island. I couldn't even find the snow shovel!! Do we own one?
Go ahead and laugh our Eastern friends; by Wednesday, it will all be gone and the temp will again be 15 degrees. well maybe !!!!
The following is a minute-by-minute report of the extreme weather concerns
in Victoria , British Columbia :
6:22 a.m. Temperature plunges. Word spreads that a Victoria man finds
ice on his windshield! Curious neighbors gather to watch him scrape it off
with a credit card. One motorist, a former Albertan, claims use of mysterious
"defrost" switch on dashboard can aid in process.
9:30 a.m. Hardware stores sell both of their snow shovels. Islanders
begin cobbling together implements made from kayak paddles, umbrellas,
plywood, cookie sheets and boogie boards.
10 a.m. Golfers switch to orange balls. Beacon Hill Park cricket
players, anxious not to repeat the ugly "snow blower incident" of the Blizzard of
'96, switch to orange uniforms.
Noon: Word of impending West Coast snowfall tops newscasts across Canada.
Saskatoon hospitals report epidemic of sprained wrists related to viewers
high-fiving one another.
1:20 p.m. Elementary schools call in grief counselors. Grief counselors
refuse to go, citing lack of snow
tires.
2:30 p.m. Rush hour begins an hour early as office workers come down
with mysterious illness and bolt for home. Usual traffic snarl is compounded
by large number of four-wheel-drives abandoned by side of road.
2:50 p.m. Airplanes are grounded and ferries docked. No way to travel
between Island and rest of the world. Times Colonist headline: "Mainland
cut off from Civilization."
3:22 p.m. Prime Minister Harper announces Canada 's DART rapid-response
team can be on the ground within six months." We can't leave Victoria to
deal with 225 centimeters of snow on its own," he tells Mayor Lowe. "Um,
that's two to five centimeters, not two-two-five," replies the Mayor.
The Prime Minister hangs up.
3:33 p.m. Provincial government responds to crisis by installing slot
machines in homeless shelters.
4:10 p.m. At behest of Provincial Emergency Program, authorities begin
adding Prozac to drinking water.
4:15 p.m. Fears of food shortages lead to alarming scenes of violence
and looting. Grocery shoppers riot across the city, except in Oak Bay ,
where residents hire caterers to do rioting for them.
4:30 p.m. Bracing for the arrival of snow, the city is gripped by an
eerie stillness reminiscent of Baghdad on the eve of the invasion.
Searchlights comb darkening sky for first sign of precipitation.
4:48 p.m. Panic ripples across the region as words come in that the
first flakes of snow have fallen on the Malahat. False alarm! "Flakes" turn
out to be nothing more than anthrax spores released by terrorists. An uneasy
calm returns to city.
5:40 p.m. Television reporter, Ed Bain, shaking uncontrollably, tells
viewers that snow warnings have been extended. This weather pattern
could go on for days. Mercury plummets to Calgary-in-August levels. Martial
law is declared. Victoria-area politicians announce plans to establish an
emergency command centre aboard HMCS Regina once it reaches Oahu .
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