hey, guys, post something funny

[potteralice]

come on, i keep looking for something to lighten the day and there is hardly anything here. where is everyone, at the unemployment line?

[Doug Mager]

.

[Lisa H.]

Mensa Invitational

Here are the winners of this year's Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:

1.. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidental ly walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

(My favorite is # 7...Carolyn)

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj.. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

[Morgan]

come on, i keep looking for something to lighten the day and there is hardly anything here. where is everyone, at the unemployment line?

You like Engrish rady?

[Kevin K]

Try this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVPa46W3uMY...feature=related

[Darwin Maring]

My wife woke me up this morning and said, get up and start packing, I just won the lottery.

I said, What should I pack and she said she didn't care what I pack, just get it done and get out.

[Rick kl]

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing
an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and
is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into
earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies
sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods
him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

[potteralice]

thanks, all

now that i have stopped laughing i can tell you that the washington post article #15 happened to me just yesterday. now i know what to call the experience!

[potteralice]

i rike engrish too.

the japanese steakhouse just up the road is named YUKI on a very large and expensive lighted sign. someone didn't use their head. i wonder what it means in japanese???