Maintenance & Restoration

Tom U · 12-02-2009, 12:54 PM

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' the biker replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.'

'After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.'

'Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD.'

'Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD.'

'Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.'

'Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

WtMtJim · 12-02-2009, 01:21 PM

The boss is interviewing a new prospective employee. The boss says, "This is a great company. You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred."

**Frederick L. Simson** · 12-02-2009, 02:55 PM

Earl and Clyde are two old guys sitting on a park bench.

Earl says to Clyde, "We're part of a dying breed. When's the last time you heard of a baby boy named Earl or Clyde?"

"Ages" answers Clyde.

"Nowadays it's all Justins and Ethans and Tylers" sighed Earl, "How about more Freds? Have you heard of more Freds Lately?"

Clyde shakes his head and answers, "Fred not."

Tom U · 12-02-2009, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Clyde shakes his head and answers, "Fred not."

Frederick,

Clyde is a man of few words! Would his comment to the slightly off color first story be:

"Fred, er, ick!" ?

Sorry, I'm on my way to my room.....

Roger C H · 12-03-2009, 08:08 PM

So I guess the moral of the story in post # 1 is: don't get VD!

I thought it was like the man who said to Calvin Coolidge, "I bet my friend that when I met you I could get you to say three words."
"You lose." Said taciturn Cal.