Points to Ponder - Fiberglass RV


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Old 07-14-2003, 05:10 PM   #1
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Points to Ponder

Points to Ponder:

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out?"

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What's the opposite of opposite?

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

Why is the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star the same tune?

I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" init?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

And who opened that first OYSTER and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't THIS look yummy." ???

Who was the first person, seeing an egg come from a chicken's butt, thought "I'll bet that would be good to eat?"
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Old 07-14-2003, 05:28 PM   #2
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keep em comeing

just got to laugh:conf
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Old 07-14-2003, 11:34 PM   #3
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Why do you park in the driveway, but drive on the parkway?
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Old 07-15-2003, 12:03 AM   #4
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Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?

If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?

Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?

How come no matter what color the liquid is, the froth is always white?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

Why do they call it "head over heals in love" if our head is always over our heals?

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words? Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?

How do they get those boats in the glass bottles?

What do you say when God sneezes?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why is it that it's called Alcoholics Anonymous, but the first thing you do is stand up and say, " My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic."?

How fast do hotcakes sell?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Whatever happened to an E grade? We have A, B, C, D, F but no E.

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Do vampires get AIDS?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features or just the movie itself?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why are pennies bigger than dimes?

What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?

Can blind people see their dreams?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?


:)
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Old 07-15-2003, 12:09 AM   #5
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Why are buttons on guys' shirts on a different side than girls' shirts?

Why are things typed up but written down?

How come u can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it’s illegal to keep them as a pet?

If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down?

Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other?

Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?

Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound?

If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?

If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren’t you being judgmental yourself?

How did the headless horseman know where he was going?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?

How can something be new and improved? If it's new, what was it improving on?

If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

:)
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Old 07-15-2003, 09:38 AM   #6
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Sense of Haw haw!!

So good to see a group of people who only take themselves as seriously as the absolutely have to. Other than RV'ers everyone else is way too in tense:banana :banana
Cheers
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Old 07-15-2003, 11:56 AM   #7
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Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A?

Why do old men have hair in their ears?

If bunnies don't lay eggs why is it on Easter we have an egg hunt?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

Why do donuts have holes?

What's the deal with all the different "M&M's"® colours? They DO NOT taste different!

If you’re born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?

Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?

Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?

Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?

If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?

Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly?

If it's zero degrees outside today and the weatherman says, "It's going to be twice as cold tomorrow", how cold is it going to be?

Do cows drink milk?

Can a guy named Nick have a 'nickname?
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Old 07-15-2003, 11:57 AM   #8
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What is a male ladybird called?

Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?

If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Don't you find it worrying that doctor’s call treating you their "practice"?

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?

Why is it that lemon washing up liquid is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavouring?

If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?

Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?

If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?

Does a postman deliver his own mail?

Why is a chicken egg one of the only things that does not seem to taste as nice WITH chicken?

If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?

Why are boxing rings square?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

Why do hotdogs come in packs of 6 or 12 when hotdog rolls usually come in packs of 8 or 10?

Did they have antiques in the olden days?

Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 160 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?

Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?

Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of skating rinks?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
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Old 07-15-2003, 11:59 AM   #9
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How can you chop down a tree and then chop meat up?

How can you hear yourself think?

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?

If the Flintstones were B.C then why do they talk with Yank accents?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?

What would Cheese say if it got it's picture taken?

What would you use to dilute water?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Could someone ever get addicted to counselling?

If so, how could you treat them?

If Sunday is the 'Holy day of rest', why do people get up so early and got to church?

Have you noticed that whenever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!

Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?

Why do you click on start to shutdown your computer?
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Old 07-15-2003, 12:29 PM   #10
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Juat to show that I have a plethora of useless knowlege...

"If bunnies don't lay eggs why is it on Easter we have an egg hunt?"

One of the ancient Goddesses of Germanic history is named Eoster. She sent forth on the first day of spring rabbits (an animal she favored) with colored eggs to deliver to her followers as a sign of good fertility for the coming year. Down through the years that's how The Easter Bunny and colored eggs got included with Easter, the rising of Jesus after his crucifixion.

I'll take Ancient Religions for a thousand, Alex :)
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Old 07-15-2003, 04:53 PM   #11
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:)
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Old 07-16-2003, 11:33 AM   #12
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I think I have the answer

Rick's question:What do you say when God sneezes?

Answer: There goes the RV park!
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Old 07-16-2003, 05:42 PM   #13
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What's the difference between a tornado in Oklahoma and a divorce in Kentucky?

Either way someone is losing a trailer...

(no offense meant to our OK and KY friends!);)
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Old 07-17-2003, 09:54 AM   #14
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Hey there Eric, Lets not talk about loseing a trailer. Thats a little close to our hearts on this board. Smile:reye2
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