50°F/10°C -- Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians plant their gardens.
35°F/1.6 °C -- Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows
32°F/0°C -- American water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
0°F/ -17.9°C -- New York landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians, last cookout of the season.
-60°F/ -51°C -- Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100° F/ -73°C -- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
-173°F/ -114°C -- Ethyl alcohol Freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-460°F/ -273°C -- Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
-500°F/ -295°C -- Hell freezes over. The Leafs win the Stanley Cup