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Old 01-13-2011, 08:29 AM   #1
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The 100 MPH Goat

Couple FGRV rally goers (Landy and Leroy) are out hiking, and as they are
walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.
They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

Then Landy says, "Wow Leroy, that's some hole;
I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."

Then Leroy says," I don't know, let's throw something
down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

Then Landy says, "There's this old automobile transmission here,
give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and three, and throw it in the hole. (they don't count so good either)

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and
they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.

As Landy and Leroy turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush,
It runs up to the hole and with no hesitation, jumps in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole
and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

"Say there," says the farmer, "you 2 hillbillies didn't happen to see my goat
around here anywhere, did you?"

Then Landy says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing
here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin'
about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this here hole!"

The old farmer said, "That's impossible,
I had him chained to a transmission!"
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Old 01-13-2011, 12:17 PM   #2
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This reminds me of another
Quote:
An elderly man riding moped, looking about a century old, pulls up next to a young doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the doctor's sleek, shiny car and asks, 'What kind of car ya got there, sonny?'

The doctor replies, 'It's Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!'

'That's a lot of money,' says the old man. 'Why does it cost so much?'

'Because this car can do up to 218 miles an hour!' states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside?'

'No problem,' replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, 'That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped!'

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly... WHOOOOSSSHHH! something whips by him going much faster!

'What on earth could be faster than my Ferrari?' the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 180 mph . Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas. He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to its 218 mph limit.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again ! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing more he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end!

The doctor stops and jumps out and, unbelievably, the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, 'I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you?'

The old man whispers,

'Unhook my suspenders from your side mirror.'
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