The perfect man

[Alan #1119]

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi
just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie
says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab,
things happened like that to Frank Feldman every
single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over
everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.
He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could
golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a
Broadway star and you should have heard him play the
piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really
special.

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a
computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He
knew all about wine, which foods to order and which
fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like
me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.
But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger. "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in
traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck
in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really
knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never answer her back even if she was in the
wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly
polished too - he was the perfect man! He never made a
mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank
Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. I just
married his bloody widow."

[Donna D.]

And on the flipside, I was married to a guy who THOUGHT he was Frank Feldman

He was mistaken.

[Frederick L. Simson]

A lot of people call me "Frank".

Maybe I'm Frank Feldman.