When insults had class - Fiberglass RV

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Old 04-04-2010, 10:19 AM   #1
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These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "Whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many Obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book, I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hades

"I did not attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends .." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend .... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Can not possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S.. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go, others, whenever they go .." -Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this was not it." - Groucho Marx

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Old 04-04-2010, 11:02 AM   #2
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Name: lee
Trailer: 1981 Bigfoot,1971 trailswest campster, homebuilt teardrop
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absolutely priceless !! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Of course I must add one of my favorites "never engage in a battle of wits with an opponent who is unarmed " unknown. Lee

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Old 04-07-2010, 08:05 PM   #3
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Name: Dave
Trailer: 1973 Hunter Compact Jr; 1972 Astro (Havasu?)
Posts: 196
Never argue with an idiot; they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience
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Old 04-07-2010, 10:01 PM   #4
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British Columbia
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Also, apparently, Churchill.
"Madam, you are ugly."
"Sir!! You are drunk."
"Yes Madam. But in the morning I shall be sober."
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Old 04-13-2010, 09:17 AM   #5
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Trailer: 2000 24 ft Shasta Ultra Flite
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One of my personal favorites

Breakfast cereal magnate C. W. Post once called Dr. Kellogg (his competitor) "Dr.Keldog" to which he replied

"careful you know what dogs do to posts"

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