You Know You're A Bad Cook When...

[james kent]

You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer
You consider it a culinary success if the pop tart stays in one piece
Your dog goes to the neighbours to eat
When you barbeque, two of your kids stand guard with water pistols and the third is ready with a cell phone and finger on the 911 speed dial
Your family automatically heads for the table when they hear a fire siren
The EPA insists that all your garbage cans be marked with biohazard warnings
Your two best recipies are meatloaf and apple pie but guests can't tell them apart.
You've used three cans of Draino and a crowbar, and still can't get the macaroni off the bottom of the pan
You're tuna noodle surprise glows in the dark
Your family prays AFTER the meal

[Pamela H]

Smoke alarm? Have you been watching my husband cook??

Pam

[Bob H]

When the dog licks it butt to get the taste out of his mouth..... - Ron White (of Blue Collar Comedy Tour)

[Chester Taje]

When the dog licks it butt to get the taste out of his mouth..... - Ron White (of Blue Collar Comedy Tour)

This is good

[sherry loving o]

You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer
You consider it a culinary success if the pop tart stays in one piece
Your dog goes to the neighbours to eat
When you barbeque, two of your kids stand guard with water pistols and the third is ready with a cell phone and finger on the 911 speed dial
Your family automatically heads for the table when they hear a fire siren
The EPA insists that all your garbage cans be marked with biohazard warnings
Your two best recipies are meatloaf and apple pie but guests can't tell them apart.
You've used three cans of Draino and a crowbar, and still can't get the macaroni off the bottom of the pan
You're tuna noodle surprise glows in the dark
Your family prays AFTER the meal

Sounds like my cooking! LOL

[Orlen Wolf]

Every recipe in your card index has "surprise" in the title.

The poison control center lists an antidote for each of your "surprise" recipes in their quick response file.

Your smoke alarm no longer works because 9V battery is one of the ingredients in a "surprise" recipe.