I agree with the "trailer-first" idea even though it didn't work out that way for us. I know you'd like to avoid them, but I consider the minivan to have some strong advantages (the reputed soccer-mom image has no effect on me anyway).
The enclosed space keeps our trailer free of clutter, it acts as an overflow sleeping space, and as far as towing is concerned it has a looong wheelbase, which helps immensely in keeping the combination stable.
If you buy the tug first, I'd recommend one with a 3500lb towing rating (I also consider transmission cooler and brakes mandatory). That will tow more than 90% of all fiberglass eggs.
My experience with Chrysler minivans and their transmissions did not allow that to happen, therefore the Honda, which has been superb.
P.S. Get a transmission temperature gauge. It will tell you more than you need to know to keep your rig healthy.
Greetings Per ... thanks for your input ... while I appreciate the luggage / storage capacity of mini-vans, most are simply too big for us ... we're small and frugal folks with minimum stuff and we've been 'downsizing' forever ... thanks for the tip about the tranny temperature gauge - good idea / reminder ... JEB