If you decide to tow with the TDI please get one of the euro hitches that is rated by TUV for the car. Tha would be Westfalia, Bosal, or one of the others listed by the manufacturer. The US made hitches are rated for considerably less and mount differently.
If you drive in the US and want to go by the best practices listed my the very cautious you need at least a 3/4 ton pickup truck.
If you believe that the mechanicals of the VW are weakened just for the US market then you probably shouldn't buy a VW at all.
By the way the Westfalia wiring kit has the selection in the software for North American light
control so perhaps Westfalia recognized that theat kit might be used here.
The Westfalia is not DOT approved, but then perhaps they don't want to make the hitch system weaker than the TUV regulations that it does meet.
The TUV seems to be a more stringent standard than DOT.
If you GCVW is over 10,000 lbs then DOT regulations apply.
Less than 10,000 then there are gray areas depending on the state and if state lines are crossed.
Not being a Philidelphia lawyer I have not checked on all of the legal ramifications, however the VW TDI does a great job for me.