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Old 02-05-2016, 06:34 PM   #1
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I told him stories about his Dad

My nephew Andy called the other night to advise me of some family business. We are not very close, geographically speaking, as we live pretty much on opposite ends of the continental US. Nonetheless I have tried to get out there and show my face around my home town over the years so he knows his Uncle Tim. The call was unfortunately preceded by the untimely and completely unexpected passing of his father, my brother, late last year.



Andy is a fine young man in his late 20s and was recently married to an equally fine young woman from a similar background. They love the Lord, by all accounts have their heads on straight, and should do well in life. As an email seemed more appropriate for the notification he called about, I surmised perhaps he wanted to chat.



I told him stories about growing up with his Dad, his other Uncle, and his Granddad. His Granddad was unfortunately a pretty sore and grumpy old man by the time Andy came along and therefore they were never close. I wanted Andy to know how much fun his Granddad and Dad were “back in the day”. Saying someone was fun or a fine individual is one thing, but adding “color” to the topics by telling first-person eyewitness accounts makes it real. It is the best thing I can give Andy, my brother, and my Dad. It helped me too.
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Old 02-05-2016, 07:20 PM   #2
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It's also about passing along family history. All too often it becomes lost when someone passes away. There will always be unanswered questions and unfinished business, but we all need to try to minimize it. I have boxes of old photographs and no one left in the family that can identify the people or places. I remember seeing "Aunts" and "Uncles" but have no idea how they fit into the family. Don't wait to record and pass on all the family history you can.
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Old 02-05-2016, 11:09 PM   #3
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It is good to get the family photos labeled and the ones that people most neglect to label are of themselves. Full names, places, birthdates and such are good on your own.
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:45 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timber Wolf View Post
My nephew Andy called the other night to advise me of some family business. We are not very close, geographically speaking, as we live pretty much on opposite ends of the continental US. Nonetheless I have tried to get out there and show my face around my home town over the years so he knows his Uncle Tim. The call was unfortunately preceded by the untimely and completely unexpected passing of his father, my brother, late last year.



Andy is a fine young man in his late 20s and was recently married to an equally fine young woman from a similar background. They love the Lord, by all accounts have their heads on straight, and should do well in life. As an email seemed more appropriate for the notification he called about, I surmised perhaps he wanted to chat.



I told him stories about growing up with his Dad, his other Uncle, and his Granddad. His Granddad was unfortunately a pretty sore and grumpy old man by the time Andy came along and therefore they were never close. I wanted Andy to know how much fun his Granddad and Dad were “back in the day”. Saying someone was fun or a fine individual is one thing, but adding “color” to the topics by telling first-person eyewitness accounts makes it real. It is the best thing I can give Andy, my brother, and my Dad. It helped me too.
Tim, sorry for the loss of your brother. I think you did good with the stories. I'm sure a lot of families have one or two folks that didn't come off so well with the rest. Family history is so easily lost.
My sister started tracing the family tree a number of years ago and has done well. Unfortunately many of the older members were gone when she started this that may have been able to identify folks in the boxes of pics.
One thing that she & I have started is a written story of our lives and what we remember of our past relatives. If the kids should decide later to follow up on the "tree", a least they will have a little personal info of their relatives other than the born/died dates.
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Old 02-06-2016, 09:05 AM   #5
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Tim,

I don't know how to repair a camper, but I can totally refer to the bitter sweet situation you wrote about. It's a great gift you gave Andy. You just became more important to him with the passing of your brother. Your efforts to be as close as you could in the past makes the world of difference now.

If the Lord's willing, I'll have a functional camper by the summer and will be able to take my wife to visit old aunts and uncles who survived both of her parents and who live in a far away land. So it is my opinion that the thread you started does belong on this forum. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 02-06-2016, 09:49 AM   #6
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"All family's have stories, but ours is the best." An old adage, but speaks volumes when talking and sharing and caring with loved ones. I wish you peace Tim and hope you continue to share with your nephew Andy. You're providing him a gift few can.
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Old 02-06-2016, 10:22 AM   #7
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I have an account (Free) with findagrave.com. You can put in the people who have died in your family. For example I put in my grandparents and then each of my aunts and my Mom and one uncle--12 in all and it all connects back to my grandparents. You can also put in some pictures if you want. I did the same with my father and his parents and of course it connects to my mother. Unfortunately I had to list my two brothers over the last few years--which connected them to our parents. I met a cousin by doing this and we talked by email and found out how I got family members in Michigan while the family I knew of lived on Long Island, NY. Interesting story--from Ireland to NY and Michigan and then Long Island (my grandparents). No offence to Michigan but I'm glad my grandparents lived on Long Island.
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Old 02-06-2016, 12:20 PM   #8
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I'm glad my grandparents lived on Long Island.
My grandmother lived on Long Island, East Hampton, before marrying and moving to a farm in Upstate NY, part of which I still own.
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:17 PM   #9
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Hi Tim,

You did good with your nephew, Andy. Sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I lost my sister about 14 years ago when she was 37. The toughest loss of my life. Interestingly, there is typically no relationship in one's life that lasts longer than the relationship(s) with one's sibling(s) lasting longer than one's relationships with parents, spouse, and children.

Take care,

Dean
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Old 02-07-2016, 01:21 AM   #10
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My grandmother lived on Long Island, East Hampton, before marrying and moving to a farm in Upstate NY, part of which I still own.
My grandparents lived in New York City and then eventually went out east and settling in North Sea. Later in life my grandmother was able to buy a house on Hill Street not far from the Catholic church in Southampton. I spent many summers there with my cousins biking to the ocean and swimming all day. Best years of my life! Now all our aunts and uncles are gone and we (me & my cousins) are the older generation. Wish we could turn back the clock. I miss my aunts. Upstate NY is beautiful--do you live there now? I have a cousin who lives there--Pleasant Valley.
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