Suddenly Solo

[GlendaW]

Hi, I'm GlendaLaine, & my husband, Jeff, died Tuesday after a short illness. We've been full timing in our 17' Casita for a little over 4 yrs - & I'm not ready for a bed without wheels yet. So I'm hoping to find travelers to caravan along with & camp within shouting distance of while I develop some confidence & comfort with this solo nomadic lifestyle. We've spent the summer at a campground in Branson MO due to Jeff's worsening health issues, but have spent 3 previous winters soaking up the AZ sunshine. I WILL get there again this winter. . .hopefully with a little help (boost or push) from my friends (even if we haven't met yet). I'm hoping to head west (specific route not determined yet) the first part of Nov (before the frozen, white stuff can start). Plans are just developing, so please let me know if I might tag along with you. Thanks.

[honda03842]

Glenda, Very sorry to read of your loss. I praise your courage to continue on. I'm certain you can do it and wish you well through the transition.

[GlendaW]

Thank you Norm. I've followed your posts for years. Hope to cross paths sometime. . .that's after I learn how to hook up & back up the trailer & finally get moving.

[Dudley]

Our heart goes out to you for your lose. Lean on some of the friends and family for some help and company. As you know if you have full timed, there is usually always someone at the campgrounds there to help if needed. The big thing is to get rolling. Check with some of the state parks in Arizona and see if they need volunteers. Great way to meet people and friends.

My mother-in-law also lost her husband but still did the snowbird thing in her 32' diesel pusher with a car tagged on. She would go from Ontario down to Benson AZ with another couple and their rig. They volunteered at Kartchner Caverns State Park for about 12 years and really enjoyed the time there. She only missed the one year as her husband died a few weeks before they were suppose to head south. She finally sold off the "bus" last year at the age of 86 as she had to redo her air-brake ticket and just didn't want the hassle. She is now looking for a trailer instead.

[4x4LDY]

I also am sorry to hear of your loss and what a brave woman you are!! I don't full time, but I do my camper alone with kids locally. If you have done the trek with hubby in the past, you know what to do and I am confident you can do more than you think you can. For me it's knowing the camper at all since I never owned one before and I look to friends for help with just the basics like leveling etc. I admire the Rosie's of the world with the "We can do it" attitude Prayers and hugs to you my camper friend.

[cpaharley2008]

Sisters on the Fly is a group of traveling women, they have a lot of meets also.
Outdoor Adventure Group for Women | Sisters on the Fly

[theresa p]

Jim----you took the words right out of my mouth! I, too, Glenda, wish to offer my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. That you could even put his loss into words so shortly afterwards is truly amazing!!

The Sisters on the Fly group is one that I would join if I were to find myself in your position. The fact that they are women travelling together--although that is NOT required---makes me feel that it'd be a great fit for you.

Sorry that I won't be heading in your direction this winter but I wish you nothing but the best.

[Jack L]

Glena, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.


The rally in Quartzsite in February will have a lot of people headed to Arizona. If you are into boondocking it would be a good destination. You might post on that thread and see if you cant start a group trip from South Dakota. Quartzsite is one of those destinations that would make a great group trip from just about anywhere in the country.

[David B.]

Glenda, we sent you a pm.
Dave & Paula

[Jack L]

A co-worker was on a solo trip a few years ago and just happened on a gathering of Sisters on the Fly. She said they were a very friendly group and fly fishing was only a small part of their activities and certainly not mandatory to join.

[Carol H]

Glenda sorry to hear of your loss. I suggest you take a look at the Rally Map and attend some of the rallies being held this winter. Its a great way to meet other solo travellers as well as couples who are happy to have you tag along with them to their next stop. I have traveled solo on a number of trips and have meet a lot of great people who I now make plans to meet up with on a fairly regular bases. Besides what is on the map I know that there is a group called Arizona Round Up that hold a number of meets each year and they welcome fiberglass trailers to their meets. I attended one at Buckskin Mt. in December a couple of years ago and had an enjoyable time with them.

[Gilda]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your husband and life partner. I, too, admire your intention to continue camping while meeting new friends. The Sisters on the Fly group would be a great start!

[GlendaW]

Thank you all for your condolences & suggestions. I've had tons & tons of support from both local & cyber family/friends. I suspect (worry??) the hardest part of this grief tho will beat me up when I'm finally traveling, alone in 'his' pickup, passing previous places we've been. I'm not really that strong - just.stubborn & unwilling to suffer the bad weather that all locations have. I'very acquired Jeff's itchy feet. I want to chase the weather that fits my clothes. But I don't want to be isolated when all this finally soaks in. Talking (writing) about my feelings is the only way I know to recognize & organize the jumble of emotions. They hide inside me (& kick & punch) until I can let them out. I can't seem to suffer in silence. I frequently talk to the walls, but much prefer people. Didn't know you all were part of a therapy group, huh?

[marijke]

Hi Glenda,
my sincere condolences to you, so sorry to read about your sudden loss.
You got something very important right:
Do not make sudden changes in your life after losing your husband. I lost mine through an accident years ago. I can still hear his chuckle sometimes, it makes me very happy. Sometimes I hear a song we used to sing together and I break up and cry still.
I just read your blog, it is great. Hope to meet you sometime. My hat is off to you for your courage and wish you all the best.

[Leej]

I don't know you Glenda, except from reading your blog and seeing you online . So very sorry about your loss. I think this is something we all worry about, losing our spouse, so indeed I can imagine your pain.
I hope you are able to meet up with someone or several someone's,that are able to help you out getting back into the grove.
Quartzite might be a good goal! I am really thinking of going this year....and will probably be solo as my husband isn't so keen on rv travel these days.

[Dennis Schultz]

Glenda, my wife & I would also like to extend our sympathy at your loss. From all the posts, you can see that you have a lot of support. Hopefully this will help you feel that you are not alone at this time or anytime. All the best in the future. Dennis & Linda

[GlendaW]

Thank you. I think I needed to know I made at least one good decision. And I figure there'll always be some scene, smell, song, or errant memory that would dissolve into a puddle of tears as long as live. Thx for preparing me.

[rgrugg]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my wife 2 1/2 years ago (2013). I continued wintering in Arizona. Coming up will be the third winter alone. It's difficult but does get easier. people will probably tell you that they know how you feel. Unless they have experienced it, they definitely DO NOT! Others will tell you that they can imagine how hard it is. They definitely CANNOT! What I can tell you is that it does get easier. Also know that there is no one way to grieve and there is no timeline either. Mourning is very much an individual process. There are no rules for it. It will get better. I found and am sure that you will find that the people on this forum are very supportive. If you need help learning to hitch up, to back up, or anything else, I suspect that you could post asking if some member nearby would help you learn these things. Also, consider attending one or more of the fiberglass rallies. You have my sympathy. One last thought: someone may tell you to"just get over it". You won't ever. Time helps. You will, I believe, compartmentalize it so it's not in your every thought. Your life without him will get better though it will never be the way it was. How could it? He's gone.

[honda03842]

Originally Posted by GlendaW

Thank you all for your condolences & suggestions. I've had tons & tons of support from both local & cyber family/friends. I suspect (worry??) the hardest part of this grief tho will beat me up when I'm finally traveling, alone in 'his' pickup, passing previous places we've been. I'm not really that strong - just.stubborn & unwilling to suffer the bad weather that all locations have. I'very acquired Jeff's itchy feet. I want to chase the weather that fits my clothes. But I don't want to be isolated when all this finally soaks in. Talking (writing) about my feelings is the only way I know to recognize & organize the jumble of emotions. They hide inside me (& kick & punch) until I can let them out. I can't seem to suffer in silence. I frequently talk to the walls, but much prefer people. Didn't know you all were part of a therapy group, huh?

Some of us are older and recognize that it's only a question of time before we're in the same state of mind as you. I can't conceive of being without Ginny. She's tried to prepare me for a life alone by telling the kids and me to get out their and continue to live. She's specifically told our children to get me a "new navigator".

Actually I'm pretty good at navigating but I suspect she's speaking of navigating thru life not roadways.

Life is about finding paths and the fact that you seem to be so open is a positive sign that you'll find a path. Of course a good life partner is not to be forgotten but he like all of us want you to continue to live well.

The road can be a good source of newness, a chance to escape the dolting old and seek new parts of yourself and the world itself. Truly wishing you well. If you're winter wanderings ever get you to FL stop for a visit. I'll PM you our address and contact info.

[Donna D.]

Bob is correct. I've never lost a spouse, so while I can offer you my sincere sympathy, truly... I've never been in your shoes.

What I can offer you, is what it's like to be a solo traveler. It's empowering and at times terrifying. You are 100% responsible for everything from hooking up to site setup. None of it is difficult, just sometimes tedious.

Maintenance for tug and tow are now yours alone. And, that includes fueling up the tug and deciding all on your own what to eat for dinner. That's what I think is empowering... cereal or steak?

You CAN do this Glenda, I promise you. If you're like me you have two choices. Stay home or go. Personally, I don't think staying home is much of a choice when there's so much to see/do in our wonderful world.

Wishing you the very best