this summer's travel: doomed in advance - Fiberglass RV


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Old 01-02-2013, 11:04 PM   #1
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this summer's travel: doomed in advance

Every summer I look forward to a nice long camping trip to someplace cool and pretty. Last year I went to the Minnesota North Shore and U.P. of Michigan, a modest trip. The year before, Glacier NP and points of interest on the way. The year before that was Utah (not so cool, but beautiful) and Colorado.

My dear wife is made physically uncomfortable by travel nowadays, so I go alone. She has some health issues that cause the discomfort. Jiggling induced by a hitched trailer makes it worse, but even simply riding 2 days to Michigan in a car (no trailer) last year to see her parents made her feel ill.

That's the background. On to the doom of my summer vacation.

My daughter, 31, and her live-in boyfriend have finally decided to get married. They live a half hour away from us. His dad and stepmom live here in town also. Nonetheless, the lovebirds have decided that they simply will not get married in this stinkin' (to them) state. They are getting married in Oregon around July 1.

I have always hankered to take the trailer on a long trip to the N. California and Oregon coast. There's the redwoods, Crater Lake, and the Columbia River gorge. Plenty of waterfalls to see, forest paths to hike, and lakes & oceans to gaze across. 4 weeks would be great for a trip like that.

But I can't do it!

My wife simply cannot handle a road trip like that, let alone the towing, camping, and poking along to sightsee. And she is determined that we both must go and see daughter get married. So she must fly (although she hates flying, it's the only way). And I must fly, too, because she's too much of a wallflower to fly alone. She knows I'd love to drive out on my own and meet her at the airport... nope, not good enough.

I feel frustrated. I feel like I'm being forced by two females to do what they wish, and I'm used to making the decisions, so it just doesn't set well with me. And on top of that, I feel like the plane ticket is such a waste of money to go someplace like Oregon, when for a few hundred more I could have the camping trip of my dreams. Oh, and besides that, this wedding trip will cost so much, it pretty much means I will get NO camping trip this summer (unless maybe it isn't too smoky in northern New Mexico later in July.... that's only about 650 miles away, about all I can afford after a pain trip -- excuse me, plane trip! -- to Oregon that I don't want to take).

I forgot to mention why the guy's folks won't mind flying to Oregon as much as we will. His dad works for American Airlines, so they get some free tickets every so often! (Wish they could give us some, but as I understand it, it doesn't work that way... not sure if they'd want to share, anyway.)

I'm not gonna be a happy camper this year.
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Old 01-02-2013, 11:19 PM   #2
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Hi: Mike Magee... I get to feel for you. Sounds like you're the trailer...they're the tug!!!
As you must know... you're not alone!!!
Alf S. North shore of Lake Erie
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Old 01-03-2013, 06:12 AM   #3
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I'm sorry Mike. I too know it's impossible to do two things at the same time. This sounds like it would have been a great opportunity for you to attend the Oregon Gathering too. Bummer....
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Old 01-03-2013, 06:27 AM   #4
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Sooner or later your frustration will need to vent. Why can't the daughter fly with the mom and allow you to camp? She needs to realize that her mother's ailment may someday be hers as well as what will she do if you were not around, god forbid. She needs to help with your wife's, her mother's care, one of which is to give you a break. I know because I'm a full time care giver for my mom and my camping is just that, a relief from my responsibilities.
Discuss this with her and hopefully she will see how important this is to you and it is a workable solution to where everyone is content. Good luck
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:30 AM   #5
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Certainly the coast of Oregon is a great place to visit though I'm not much for destination weddings.

That said, I thinks Jim's suggestion is a good one and possibly it could be built upon. Since the 'in-laws' are flying maybe your wife could fly out with them and you could meet them there.

Should things not work out and you are 'stuck' with a shorter trip, consider the NM/AZ Chiricahua Mountains. We found 3 little Scamps in one campground.

In life, most of the time, you have to simply relax and accept these family situations and work to maximize what's possible. Of course this certainly should be true for all parties in a relationship.
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:47 AM   #6
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Norm & Ginny, you're thinking the same as I did...maybe the wife could fly out with the soon-to-be relatives, OR fly out with their daughter does (sell it as "girl time"), and come back with same. It's an expensive trip, might as well make it expensive AND enjoyable.

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Old 01-03-2013, 09:10 AM   #7
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Mike,

Where's the wedding in Oregon? Possibly we could suggest some little visits to special places in the area of the wedding.
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:42 AM   #8
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I guess the saying, Happy Wife, Happy Life does apply for you.
(it should apply) But also believe everyone should enjoy life.



So if I were you, I really would try to see if some of the suggestions would work for your wife, which inturn would allow you travel to the wedding pulling the trailer. Have to say, the Calif/Oregon border is one of the most beautiful places I have seen. A trip worth taking! Plus some pretty cool stuff to adventure along the way.


Hope you find a solution so everyone is happy!
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:28 AM   #9
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Mike, I sent a PM to you
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:32 AM   #10
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a pain trip -- excuse me, plane trip!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Magee View Post
My wife simply cannot handle a road trip like that, let alone the towing, camping, and poking along to sightsee. And she is determined that we both must go and see daughter get married. So she must fly (although she hates flying, it's the only way). And I must fly, too, because she's too much of a wallflower to fly alone.
Airplanes encounter turbulence; so it won't necessarily be smoother than driving; the flight will just be quicker. However the gauntlet in the terminals, and the ground transportation will offset some of that speed. You're a better man than I am Mike.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:39 AM   #11
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Weddings are all about the bride, and in turn, her mother. It is a special time for both of them. So their feelings come first, second and third.

You not being able to turn their special moment into a camping trip is a small price to pay for their happiness.

It sounds like you want everyone else to make sacrifices. Ultimately, you need to make the sacrifice.
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:05 PM   #12
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Todd,

The daughter chose to get married in OR knowing that travel is difficult for her mother. I don't see why there can't be compromises. I understand Mike's situation. Hang in there Mike, hope you get the chance to do the OR coast with your trailer and that your wife finds a way to do the air trip on her own.

OR in July is wonderful. sure beats your stink in' state.

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Old 01-03-2013, 12:10 PM   #13
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. . . and I thought the fox, chicken, sack of grain conundrum was hard. I think you need some kind of wii or X-box with a virtual camping game in the worst way. In the meantime, you'll probably have to suck it up and be a husband and father. Might as well enjoy it.

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Old 01-03-2013, 12:39 PM   #14
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Thanks for the comments and well wishes and everything. I appreciate it. And you came through with some helpful ideas.

After sleeping on it, my wife and I are both feeling more relaxed and flexible about the situation. We're putting options on the table and letting them be while we ruminate on them.

It is true, I want them to have a nice, special time (daughter didn't make that easy, but we will find a way to make lemonade). And I should not be too selfish about my own desires. But my wife is coming around as well and seems willing to discuss concessions now.

My daughter had already suggested having her mom fly up with them, but they're staying for 8 days and my wife said she simply would not stay that long, so flying back was a problem for her. We don't know the prospective in-laws all that well, but flying with them might still be possible. Even better though, my son has let us know that he probably will fly to the wedding, and my wife says she would be ok traveling with him. If this pans out, it could be the ideal solution.

She also is now saying that if I flew with her, she may be willing to hang out at the hotel and give me a couple of days to drive around and see sights on my own. Maybe I could even pry her out long enough to go see the ocean (she never has, yet).

Wedding location is not set for certain yet, but is most likely going to be around Eugene. Future son in law has a set of aging grandparents in Ashland, and that is close enough for them to attend.

My wife is not really an invalid, and she mostly has been feeling well, but travel causes kidney pain, foot swelling, general sick feeling, etc. Her surgically-shortened colon is a big factor as well. AIr travel isn't going to be easier for her, just shorter duration. OR is about 2000 miles from us; we usually could not travel (sustained) more than about 500 miles/day if driving. 8 days vs 2 days of misery, no-brainer for her.

Daughter's decision has not been at all logical, but we can't make it for her. It's her life, her decision, her own memories she's building. If we can fit into the pattern she's weaving, within reason, we will. We want her to have a great, memorable wedding day. (But there are limits... my wife says no way is she staying in a teepee like those two want to do!)
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:52 PM   #15
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There are also some options, if you haven't already considered them, that might make her a bit more comfortable riding. Compression knee high socks can ease the swelling and maybe help. There's water pills that a doctor can prescribe that will also hep reduce the swelling. That along might make her more comfortable. Talk to her doctor and see what he suggests.
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Old 01-03-2013, 01:00 PM   #16
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I know it is hard to cut the strings, but sooner or later it needs to be done. What does the future SIL say about where they will live and which relative will be for #1 for Thanksgiving? Sounds like he is calling the shots? If she can not see the future problems then it is her decision, she is be old enough to handle the consequences. Every parent goes through this!!
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Old 01-03-2013, 01:01 PM   #17
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Glad to hear that things are moving more into the "flexibility of married folks" stage, Mike!

I hope you can work things out to everyone's satisfaction- which as far as I'm concerned should mean that you get to make the drive out here with your trailer. It sounds like an adventure you'd like to have, and I'm sure that your wife will come to an understanding of that.

You might pass along to her that my husband really likes the solo trips he takes, and that he's often so refreshed when he comes back from his "offleash time" that I can do just about anything I want with him!.

Francesca
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Old 01-03-2013, 03:12 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Francesca Knowles View Post
...........
You might pass along to her that my husband really likes the solo trips he takes, and that he's often so refreshed when he comes back from his "offleash time" that I can do just about anything I want with him!.

Francesca
Please Francesca, this is a family friendly site.

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Old 01-03-2013, 03:33 PM   #19
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Please Francesca, this is a family friendly site.



......

We've been married almost twenty-five years, and I have to admit that the action I was thinkin' of is more along the lines of chores on the "honey do list" etc....

But thanks for the compliment!

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Old 01-03-2013, 05:42 PM   #20
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One way to look at it...

A wedding is supposed to be a once in a lifetime event. That alone has to put it at top of heap.

It would be a very nice trailer trip. Your wife is a poor traveler.
Those two are your conundrum

Possibly there are things that might make it more comfortable for your wife to travel, which would be a win-win, but bottom line it's Bride first then Mother of Bride. There will be lots of ruffled feelings on the Distaff should that be forgotten!

July is kind of dead center in travel season, but if nothing else, you might think about making plans for another trip that has you home to attend the wedding with your family but still satisfies your need to get out of Dodge. In fact, as things ramp up to fever pitch close to the big day, you may find it advantageous to be elsewhere!

In the long run, IMHO putting the wedding first in your thinking will increase the harmony in your household and may encourage your wife to look more kindly on your need for time in your camper.

Denece, recently MOB

PS. Have you considered traveling shorter daily runs? Extra seat cushioning? Anti-sea-sick bracelets? Ginger for motion sickness? That and a longer lunch break might make it easier for your wife to enjoy camping with you again.
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