Travelling alone

[Donna D.]

I like being alone.

My money, my decison where I go, who I decide to talk to, what music is on the tug radio (I know ALL the words to 60s-70s Rock 'N Roll) and NO one wants to hear me sing... where I stop, where I camp, etc. Being single is liberating, not lonely. I think it's a mind-set. I don't think it's dimished because I don't share with a spouse/partnet... for the first time... I don't worry about other's NEEDS, it's all ABOUT ME!

[francene]

Originally Posted by Donna D.

I like being alone.

My money, my decison where I go, who I decide to talk to, what music is on the tug radio (I know ALL the words to 60s-70s Rock 'N Roll) and NO one wants to hear me sing... where I stop, where I camp, etc. Being single is liberating, not lonely. I think it's a mind-set. I don't think it's dimished because I don't share with a spouse/partnet... for the first time... I don't worry about other's NEEDS, it's all ABOUT ME!

Ah yes, Donna. I hear ya.

Fran

[Byron Kinnaman]

To those that have been single for a number of years, those that have never had the experience of your very best friend being your partner. A partner where you share every aspect of your life and your partner does likewise. The loss of a partner can be pretty difficult. The adjustment to being by yourself for first time in many years can be very hard. It takes time to adjust, it takes time to find a new purpose, it takes time to find a joy to life. The activities might change in many ways. Some will carry on with the things that were done when they were two, others will change to new activities. We need to allow our friends to as they need, and support them in their decisions. It does no good, only possible harm, to try to convince them to continue doing the same things they did when they were two.

That's my 2 cents worth on the subject.

[Thomas G.]

Originally Posted by Byron Kinnaman

To those that have been single for a number of years, those that have never had the experience of your very best friend being your partner. A partner where you share every aspect of your life and your partner does likewise. The loss of a partner can be pretty difficult. The adjustment to being by yourself for first time in many years can be very hard. It takes time to adjust, it takes time to find a new purpose, it takes time to find a joy to life. The activities might change in many ways. Some will carry on with the things that were done when they were two, others will change to new activities. We need to allow our friends to as they need, and support them in their decisions. It does no good, only possible harm, to try to convince them to continue doing the same things they did when they were two.

That's my 2 cents worth on the subject.

Good post. It takes time to sort out what was me and what was us, especially after so many years. Over time, you will find what makes you happy, as opposed to what you might initially think should make you happy. It will happen, but it takes time.

[monB]

Originally Posted by Thomas G.

Good post. It takes time to sort out what was me and what was us, especially after so many years. Over time, you will find what makes you happy, as opposed to what you might initially think should make you happy. It will happen, but it takes time.

That's the most difficult...I know what "we" liked and wanted...not so sure about "me".

Mon

[Byron Kinnaman]

Originally Posted by rgrugg

Just got home from Colorado, being stranded for an extra day in Estes Park, rain, mud, and driving on a stretch of road with marble size hail on it. First trip ever without someone else being along. Don't like it. Might not do it again unless I can find somebody to go along. Without the satellite radio that came with the Buick, I'd have gone nuts, maybe nutsier than I already did. FWIW.

I'm going to be a bit bold and offer a little advice. First and foremost don't do anything you wish you had not done later, such as sell your trailer, house or any belongings. Give yourself some time.

Second if after a period of time you would still like to travel but with a traveling companion there's lots of places to look for a traveling companion without romantic commitments. Senior centers and churches are a couple of places.

Should you find a compatible traveling companion take several one and two night trips together.

Take your time, it's better to find out you really want to travel, rather than finding out that you don't have way across the country.

My wife and I have talked about this several times. We both hope the other will carry on with our lives in a positive manner. I think both of us would continue to travel, but any trip we had planned together would have to wait for awhile.

I wish you well and know you'll do what's right for you.

[honda03842]

Byron, Ginny has said the same thing to our kids, "Make sure Dad gets a new navigator".

[itlives]

My wife of 20 years left me this week. Thanksgiving trip is going to be tough....

[Sandy Christie]

Mike
Been there done that: Now is the time for your family (if you have) or close friends to help out. You may have to ask, and that can be hard. As been said many times above, time will get you over the split, but it does it slowly! Don't rush, the first 6 months are the worst. Get to know your self. In time when you can look back, you will be surprised how much you have grown. Be kind to yourself.

Sandy C

[itlives]

Thanks Sandy, it's not like I haven't been here before, it's just been a loong time.
When you're younger, single seems ok -if not almost normal. Not so much now.

Sorry for the hi-jacking. These days it seems easier to speak into a situation via cyber-space. I have talked to my pastor and continue in the "healing".

I will survive!

[Beverly Jones]

A mature dog is a great traveling companion. They may have they uniqueness, but isn't that what we treasure in ourselves.

I rescued a 7 year old spaniel/peque/papion (sp?) mix, we get alone quite well.

Dog is my co-pilot.

Who rescued who?

[Des Nolan]

Originally Posted by Gina D.

I think if I traveled with someone else, someone would die after about 3 days (That's my "social" limit.)

Get a dog..they LOVE to hear you talk! :-)

From your succinct comments, it sure sounds (reads?) like you. We miss them (and you). Hopefully you now have time to ease off of work an devote more time to social commenting.

Des & Diane

[Sandy Christie]

Originally Posted by itlives

Thanks Sandy, it's not like I haven't been here before, it's just been a loong time.
When you're younger, single seems ok -if not almost normal. Not so much now.

Sorry for the hi-jacking. These days it seems easier to speak into a situation via cyber-space. I have talked to my pastor and continue in the "healing".

I will survive!

Mike

"I will survive!" You have got the right attitude. Make it positive and move on. We are all pullin for ya.

Good luck

Sandy C

[Big O]

I spent two months on the road last year with my Beagle Roxie. I did visit some friends and made new ones too. Roxie and I will be spending the Winter traveling through the Southwest and CA. I'll be attending two, maybe three Casita Rallies and spending Christmas with my son in San Francisco. I listened to half of Lincoln last year and will finish it this year. I joined audible .com and will be ordering some books soon. I also have IPod for music.

Unless your an extreme introvert I'd think it would be hard not to meet people while traveling. Perhaps joining a club, like Escapees, or attending rallies, even just going to church dinners on the road. Not sure about anyone else but I'd prefer to be traveling alone than staying home alone. I hope you find happiness with what ever choices you make.

[Byron Kinnaman]

Originally Posted by Big O

I spent two months on the road last year with my Beagle Roxie. I did visit some friends and made new ones too. Roxie and I will be spending the Winter traveling through the Southwest and CA. I'll be attending two, maybe three Casita Rallies and spending Christmas with my son in San Francisco. I listened to half of Lincoln last year and will finish it this year. I joined audible .com and will be ordering some books soon. I also have IPod for music.

Unless your an extreme introvert I'd think it would be hard not to meet people while traveling. Perhaps joining a club, like Escapees, or attending rallies, even just going to church dinners on the road. Not sure about anyone else but I'd prefer to be traveling alone than staying home alone. I hope you find happiness with what ever choices you make.

That bold statement hits the nail on the head. Four years ago when we started snow birding that's what surprised me the most. I knew we would see new and interesting places, but what I didn't expect was the number of friends I would find. Sometimes you see those friends again someplace other than where you met them. I've gotten to the point where I look forward to going back to a place like Death Valley just to see how many people are there that I know, including several solo travelers.

I find this less true in summer camping where the families are camped. Example, last July we went to the CA Redwoods, four days and I didn't really get to know anybody. Went from there to Mt Lassen and got to know two very nice couples, this campground wasn't used much and only one or two families with children. This is just my experiences.

[Noreen Bradshaw]

Another interesting thing I found........For years I travelled and camped by myself, an older woman alone. People seemed to go out of their way to say, Hello and stop and chat for a bit. In 1998 I met my husband and we travelled together for two years until he died in 2001. During that time although men would stop and talk to him very few spoke to me. Now I'm back on my own again, an older, older woman and when I camp, someone always comes to chat, man or woman, often couples.

Fortunately for me, while I enjoy meeting others, I don't mind being alone. (well, I have my cat, Bobby)

But Bob, while I can't begin to know how much you miss Grace, I do remember how hard it was to start again after only two years of sharing my life with my husband. And now 12 years later, I still miss him. I hope you take your time, and find your own way through this difficult period.

[Robin G]

Bob, Having just experienced the loss of my camping partner (DH), 2 months ago today actually. I understand your loss and am pretty sure I know some of the feelings your having.
I am on my first, real solo trip. I knew before his passing that I would explore the travel we enjoyed together but also questioned/question how comfortable I will be doing it by myself? Due to the caregiving journey I knew I needed some time to rediscover who I am. So a road trip was in order. I agonized whether to tow the Casita or not. For this first trip I chose not to.

2 weeks into this, Discover who Robin is? trip! I can say that though there have been times that have been really hard, for the most part I have realized that eventually I am going to be ok. Lot's of tears but lot's of laughs as well. Getting through Colorado was the worst, so many great memories along the road. And though the memories make me smile they make me sad as well because him and I won't be creating more great memories together. And though it won't be "we" I hope it can be (me) creating and experiencing new and lasting memories. I am under no illusion that this is going to be easy nor is this trip going to find the whole me. It may take many "discovery" trips, moments, experience for months, years to come. But I am going to give it a whirl.

Only you can figure out how you are going to journey on, but as many have suggested give it time, keep trying to find what works for you. You may find that camping altogether isn't what you want to continue to do. You may rediscover what you enjoyed about it and make it work for you as a solo or find the perfect travel mate. Whatever you discover, may you find peace and happiness. But remember we can't give up just yet!

[Vickie B.]

Robin---I'm so sorry---did not realize your DH had passed. From what I've read, I know you've been a self-less caregiver. I also sense you're a strong person and wish you all the best and many travels!

Vickie

[Pam Garlow]

Originally Posted by rgrugg

Just got home from Colorado, being stranded for an extra day in Estes Park, rain, mud, and driving on a stretch of road with marble size hail on it. First trip ever without someone else being along. Don't like it. Might not do it again unless I can find somebody to go along. Without the satellite radio that came with the Buick, I'd have gone nuts, maybe nutsier than I already did. FWIW.

It will take time, Bob, and you will figure out what is best for you as you move forward on this new path in your life. We're all pulling for you.

[Seamstress]

As someone who has been single all of my life, I can tell you that there may be some surprises in store for you. I enjoy traveling by myself but I also enjoy traveling with friends. What surprises me (pleasantly for me but I will let you judge how it is for you) is that I meet soooo many more people traveling solo than I do when traveling with others. And it is both because other people seek me out and I seek them out. Sometimes I think they feel sorry for me being alone and want to "adopt me" temporarily, LOL. Other times, I hear people asking questions, perhaps about a site we are visiting, and I can answer them so I do, and then a conversation begins. I have even met dinner partners this way, couples and singles.

One tip that I learned years ago, is that when approaching a couple to ask a question, to ask for help or just strike up a conversation, approach the one who is the same sex as you first. So, for me, I would approach the woman first. This reduces any chance that the opposite sex person might feel any jealousy like an attempt on your part to attract their partner. Seems unnecessary but, trust me, this has ALWAYS worked well for me. And some couples just are not interested in meeting a single person so don't be surprised or disappointed if they don't respond positively to your attempt at friendship.

As others have said, take your time and do only those things that bring you comfort. But keep your mind open to new opportunities, ideas and skills you can learn that will widen your adventures for the rest of your life.