Accident Report to insurance company

[Dick Freed]

Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's accident report,
which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the
Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd
have received a Darwin Award for sure....

Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details
will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone
on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found
that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to
be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on
the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and
untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side o! the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding
downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured
skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of
the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my
weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts
for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my
legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of
bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain
unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey
back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.

[Byron Kinnaman]

Even after all these years this urban legend is still funny.

Oh! a version appeared in a joke book published in 1918. Do you remember it?

[CharlynnT]

This scenario was also featured in a British cartoon, um, a bear, a bear named ... Paddington! Yeah, that's the ticket!

[Andrew Gibbens]

I believe "The Bricklayer's Story" was written by Gerard Hoffnung (see Wikipedia article). The BBC recorded him delivering this in a speech to the Oxford Union in December 1958 and it is one of the masterpieces of comic timing - the pauses are at least as funny as the words! It has been recently released once again on CD: One Last Encore

Andrew

[Byron Kinnaman]

I believe "The Bricklayer's Story" was written by Gerard Hoffnung (see Wikipedia article). The BBC recorded him delivering this in a speech to the Oxford Union in December 1958 and it is one of the masterpieces of comic timing - the pauses are at least as funny as the words! It has been recently released once again on CD: One Last Encore

Andrew

I'm not sure I would trust a Wikipedia article. Anybody can write one and the information isn't verified. According to snopes the story is much older than that.

[Mary F]

Maybe he really did deliver the speech, even though maybe it wasn't actually his own experience.

You know, we had a guy claim here at FiberglassRV.com once-upon-a-time that the Scamp/barge photo ("Redneck Yacht") was his.



Who knows?

[Andrew Gibbens]

According to snopes the story is much older than that.

Thanks. And, drat - another piece of my limited store of knowledge dashed!

It is interesting that as well as providing the means to spread both accurate and innaccurate knowledge, the internet does provide this verification function. Like Frederick says, my confusion is on a higher plane.

Andrew

[Byron Kinnaman]

Actually it's kind of fun. At times I enjoy searching out urban legends. The only time that I get bother by them is when somebody tries to pass them off a real. Now here is section of the forum I consider them all jokes, which is good and fun. It gives me an excuse to learn a bit more about internet lore.

[Shannon and Ross]

[Andrew Gibbens]

OK, here's my insurance company story - a friend worked in a local insurance office and insisted this is true. They just pay up without questions on home insurance claims up to a few hundred dollars as it costs too much to check them - but if it sounds really weird, they do check.

So when a policyholder put in a claim for a new bath because they had dropped the soap and it had gone thorugh the bath, they checked. It turned out to be a perfectly reasonable claim: they had a soap magnet and had dropped the soap while showering - it landed magnet-side down and punched the magnet through the bath, leaving a small neat hole.

The culprit:




Andrew

[shirley munson]

Time for a new joke.

[Frederick L. Simson]

Like Frederick says, my confusion is on a higher plane.

Wow! Somebody actually read that! Now I have to change it...