Idiot Sighting

[HaroldB]

Originator unknown - Harold


IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said Were sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .




IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

From Kansas City




IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.



IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said Were sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS .



IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.




IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi



STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and REPRODUCE and our enemies know it!!!

[CD Smith]

That's like the lady that picked up some bananas at the grocery. She went to the cashier and asked, "Do you sell the bananas by the pound or by the bunch?" The cashier replied, "Buy the bunch."

Then the lady asked the cashier, "How much do they cost?" The cashier replied, "Ten cents a pound."

[CharlynnT]

IDIOT SIGHTING:

Kinda scarey! I'm kinda scared!

One time I saw our next-door neighbour holding out a dead mouse on a stick, offering it to my cat, in my back yard. I said, "Oh! Hello! What're you up to?" and he said, "I thought your cat might want to eat it."

Apparently not.

Little bit spooky. Gave me the heebee-jeebies, I must say.

[Flygal]

I used to work at a hardware store and of course had it drilled (no pun intended) into me to sell "ad ons" for any and every purchase. So in comes a very well dressed gentleman looking at the peep holes for a new door he had purchased...(me)can I help you..(him)yes are these the only peep holes you have...(me).no we have this one over here as well....(him sorting over which one to buy) finally he decided on the standard gold colored one....(me) alright then can I get you anything else say a drill bit or anything?...(him completely baffled) "why would I need a drill bit?" ....(me) so you can drill a hole in your door.....(him) why would I need to drill a hole in my door?...ended with me looking at him perplexed and him walking away..no drill bit.....end of story Brandy

[Patrick Mc]

I was a Flight Controller at a commuter airline in the early 80s. It was the Christmas rush and the ticket area was hectic as usual. I saw the head ticket agent running up and down the hallway popping in and out of offices and the crew lounge. Finally he came into the Dispatch Office and asked if anyone knew sign language. He had a deaf woman who was holding up the line because no one could communicate with her. The dispatcher, without saying a word, went to the counter and handed him a pad of paper and a pencil.

Pat

[Alf S.]

I used to work at a hardware store and of course had it drilled (no pun intended) into me to sell "ad ons" for any and every purchase. So in comes a very well dressed gentleman looking at the peep holes for a [b]new door he had purchased...(me)can I help you..(him)yes are these the only peep holes you have...(me).no we have this one over here as well....(him sorting over which one to buy) finally he decided on the standard gold colored one....(me) alright then can I get you anything else say a drill bit or anything?...(him completely baffled) "why would I need a drill bit?" ....(me) so you can drill a hole in your door.....(him) why would I need to drill a hole in my door?...ended with me looking at him perplexed and him walking away..no drill bit.....end of story Brandy

Hi: Brandy... I was given the same "Drill" on suggestive selling when I started at Canadian Tire!!! Maybe your shopper was "just looking"? As my brothers coffee mug says " A salespersons job starts when the customer says NO"!
Alf S. North shore of Lake Erie

[MarieN]

When I was in college, I worked in Glacier National Park one summer at the information desk at the Glacier Park Lodge. We had a landmark near us called Running Eagle Falls, which we called "Trick Falls" because the water had carved 2 paths and one poured through the rock instead of down the face, except when the water was high and a higher falls fell into the other, lower one. (Hard to explain, see link)

http://www.takemytrip.com/06glacier/06_23a.htm

One afternoon around 4:30 a disheveled woman dragging a wailing toddler in one hand and holding a fussy baby in the other came rushing up to the desk. "What time do they turn off the Falls? We're only here tonight and we don't want to miss them!"

We also had a man stroll cooly up to the desk and ask, "Where is the cage where you keep all of the animals from the forest at night? We don't want to waste our time driving around looking for wildlife all day!"

Another man who had just come in with his little boy was waiting his turn for the information booth when we heard the little boy say excitedly, "Look Daddy-there is snow on the mountain!!" to which he replied, "Don't be an idiot! It's July! That must be salt or something! (It was snow, but when we told him that we decided to leave the idiot part out)

We also had questions about "What age is a deer when it turns into an elk?" and "Where did we keep all of the animals in the winter?"

[Byron Kinnaman]

When I was in college, I worked in Glacier National Park one summer at the information desk at the Glacier Park Lodge. We had a landmark near us called Running Eagle Falls, which we called "Trick Falls" because the water had carved 2 paths and one poured through the rock instead of down the face, except when the water was high and a higher falls fell into the other, lower one. (Hard to explain, see link)

http://www.takemytrip.com/06glacier/06_23a.htm

One afternoon around 4:30 a disheveled woman dragging a wailing toddler in one hand and holding a fussy baby in the other came rushing up to the desk. "What time do they turn off the Falls? We're only here tonight and we don't want to miss them!"

We also had a man stroll cooly up to the desk and ask, "Where is the cage where you keep all of the animals from the forest at night? We don't want to waste our time driving around looking for wildlife all day!"

Another man who had just come in with his little boy was waiting his turn for the information booth when we heard the little boy say excitedly, "Look Daddy-there is snow on the mountain!!" to which he replied, "Don't be an idiot! It's July! That must be salt or something! (It was snow, but when we told him that we decided to leave the idiot part out)

We also had questions about "What age is a deer when it turns into an elk?" and "Where did we keep all of the animals in the winter?"

OK Another National Park Story, second hand this time.

A friend that works for NPS was in Yellowstone when he saw some lady with a camera heading for bull elk, in rut no less. He stopped her with a warning that the elk could attack and do some real damage. She put her hands on her hips and promptly announced that "This is a National Park and everybody knows that all the animals in a National Park are tame."

[HaroldB]

Some idiots put it in writing.

Do you remember years ago when Sealy's slogan was "Sleeping on a Sealy is like sleeping on a cloud?" Well a local furniture store had hand painted across their front window "Sleeping on a Sealy is like sleeping on a clod."

Come to think about it, I never checked if they sold Sealy mattresses. Maybe they were Serta dealers, but I think not.

Harold