Okay, guess it is my week to try to find and share a laugh. The aviation maxims toward the end of this list were considered truisms by some when I was flying commercially.
The Manual
WISDOM - FROM THE MANUAL
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
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"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper....Once."
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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Clean it, if it's Dirty.
Oil it, if it Squeaks.
But: Don't Mess with it, if it Works!
USAF Electronic Technician
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"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him."
USAF - Ammo Troop
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"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.
For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )
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A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude:
Latitude is Where We are Lost, &
Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There!
USAF Navi-guesser
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter --
However, it's probably unsafe in any case "
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,
You always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot fowls up, the pilot dies;
If ATC fowls up, .... The pilot dies."
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"Airspeed, altitude and brains.
Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation.
We never left one up there!"
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground
Who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked
When it takes FULL power to taxi to the terminal."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and
tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot
and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"
"Purrfect" - Fiber Stream
Linear Mode
