These are not meant to offend anyone,
The Blondes are back
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee."
One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Ohio were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say,
"We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street,
so the snowplows can get through."
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said,
"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast,
when the radio announcer says,
"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.
You must park..."
Then the electric power went out.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said,
"Honey, I don't know what to do.
Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied,
"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?