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Old 01-25-2007, 06:53 AM   #1
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These are not meant to offend anyone, but...

The Blondes are back


A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.





A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold."

"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.

"Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee."




SNOWSTORM

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Ohio were listening to the radio during breakfast.

They heard the announcer say,
"We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today.

You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street,
so the snowplows can get through."

So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said,

"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast,

when the radio announcer says,

"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.

You must park..."

Then the electric power went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said,

"Honey, I don't know what to do.

Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied,

"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?
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Old 01-25-2007, 08:53 AM   #2
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My daughter is very blonde...and very smart. No one can tell a Blonde Joke like she does She's gonna love these
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Old 01-25-2007, 11:45 AM   #3
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Sweet!

Have her post some!



Quote:
My daughter is very blonde...and very smart. No one can tell a Blonde Joke like she does She's gonna love these
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Old 01-25-2007, 03:00 PM   #4
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I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to
make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on
the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain
there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and
saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!" The
driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde (?), gave me a
strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"
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Old 01-25-2007, 04:21 PM   #5
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Too cute!



Quote:
I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to
make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched but on
the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain
there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and
saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!" The
driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde (?), gave me a
strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"
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Old 01-25-2007, 05:31 PM   #6
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What do you call a brunette in a roomful of blondes?


Invisible....
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Old 01-25-2007, 05:59 PM   #7
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What do you call a blonde that's dyed her hair brunette?



Artifical Intelligence.
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Old 01-25-2007, 06:00 PM   #8
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What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech.


A blonde trying to get through an intersection that has a blinking red light.
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Old 01-25-2007, 07:04 PM   #9
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Hey
This is a non-brunette joke thread

Just kidding!

Good one!

Quote:
What do you call a brunette in a roomful of blondes?
Invisible....
A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."
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Old 01-26-2007, 08:07 AM   #10
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Thank you everyone for realizing that these are all in good spirit and not a put down. I was on another forum and people were getting their feelings hurt by the blond jokes. 2 of my daughters are blond and both are going to college on academic scholarships. They both love blond jokes and even comment that they occasionally have "blond moments." My 2 brunette daughters love to pick on them, but when they do something "goofy" the blonds have to ask-"Who's the blond now?"
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Old 01-26-2007, 11:59 AM   #11
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Blonde with an attitude
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