poems/limricks and such

[john warren]

do you have little poems and stuff that became a family tradition?
for example...in the last 41 thanksgivings,, my wife, and then my children have always heard as we sat down for dinner,,,,
"i eat my peas with honey.
i've done so all my life.
it doesn't help their flavor.
but it keeps them on my knife."

also the familly joke, told every time we pass a cemetary.

you know,,,they had to build a fence around that place,,,,seems people were dying to get in there.....(followed by pained groans from my children)

[Noreen Bradshaw]

My children and I always quoted Robert Frost's, "Stopping by woods on a snowy evening", when driving home in the winter when we passed a farmer's woodlot.

"Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here
to watch his woods fill up with snow."

We knew and rhymed it though to the end. We also quoted the poem, "I eat my peas with honey". My boys especially like that one.

Another favorite was Joyce kilmer's, "I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree".

Thanks for bringing this memory forth, John.

[Thomas G.]

There was a fine forum 'bout eggs 'n' all,
That set the poor posters to bawl,
Some poor newbie would post
How much weight for their TV was the most?
And it always ended up in a brawl

[Steve L.]

Long trips on the interstate, hours in the car, I spot the pulloff for scales. "Hey kids, know why they put those there?" Various answers. "No...it's for truckers who've lost their weigh" They fell for it every time. I think. Maybe they were just humoring the guy doing all the driving.

The item I've appropriated from my dad, "Stick with me kids and you'll be wearing golf balls the size of diamonds." Usually when some scheme of mine is going pear-shaped.

[Lora]

When passing a cemetery: Did you know that the folks living on that side of the road (point to side opposite the cemetery) can't be buried in that cemetery? (this prompts the question) Why not? Because they're not dead yet!

[Francesca Knowles]

My son and now my Grandkids expect the following sweet little ditties when sittin' around the campfire:

Making toast by the fireside
Nurse fell in the grate and died.
And what makes it ten times worse:
All the toast was burnt with Nurse!

Also:

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes.
Now although the room grows chilly,
We haven't the heart to poke poor Billy!

Francesca, AKA the sweet old bluehaired Grandma

[Bobbie Mayer]

Not a poem, but when having burgers I would ask my kids, "Do you want your buns toasted?" And my daughter invariably said, "Yes," only to be told- "Then go stand in front of the fire!"

[Edward Shook]

How about "A pinch and a punch for the first of the month, rabbits no returns" For our English and Canadian friends.
and ST Silvester the bednester, the last person in the family out of bed on January 1st is the lazy bednester for the whole year.

[yyyyyguy]

Passing by a field of baled hay, I'd yell our Hay!!!
Everyone in the car would be expecting a profound idea...then I'd just point to the hay :-)

My mom's favorite saying after I'd inadvertently rhyme something was:

He's a poet
He don't know it
his feet show it
They're Longfellers

[rgrugg]

Any limericks I know are not fit for publication. Much to my sorrow because they're funny.

[Thomas G.]

My favorites as a kid were little Willie rhymes. Here is an example.

Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn’t understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays.
It rained Willie seven days.

[Mike Price]

My favorite poem is The Cremation of Sam Magee!

Mike

[WildBirder]

Originally Posted by Mike Price

My favorite poem is The Cremation of Sam Magee!

Mike

[Francesca Knowles]

Oh, yeah-
I'd bet I could still recite most of that one- and "The Shooting of Dan McGrew", too...


Francesca

[rabbit]

Uh boy, Robt. Service fans. Did the ice worm suffer from spaghettic fallacy?

jack

[Lora]

The one L lama is a priest.
The two L llama is a beast.
But, I will bet a silk pajama
That there is no three L lllama.

[Pam Garlow]

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy wuzzy?

[Roger C H]

There was a young lady named Virginia,
A stripper who could peel in a zip.
She read science fiction
And died of constriction,
Attempting a Moebius Strip.

There was a young lady, Miss Bright,
Who wanted to prove Einstein right.
So she departed one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

Little Willie hit a ball
Straight down the schoolhouse hall.
Through his door came Dr Hill,
Several teeth are missing still.

Little Willie in the best of sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes.
By and by the room grew chilly,
But no one wanted to poke up Willy.

I think I shall never hear,
A poem as lovely as a beer,
The stuff Joe's Bar has on tap,
With golden base and snowy cap.
Poems are made by fools, I fear,
But only Schlitz can make a beer.

Of all the fishes in the seas,
The funniest is the Bass,
He climbs upon the seaweed trees,
And slides down on his hands and knees.

[Roger C H]

There once was a stripper, a pip,
Named Virginia who could peel in a zip,
But she read science fiction,
And died of constriction,
Attempting a Moebius strip.

There was a young lady of Niger,
Who smilingly rode on a tiger.
They returned from the ride,
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.

There was a young lady from St Paul,
Who attended a newspapermen’s ball.
Her dress caught on fire,
And burnt her entire,
Front page, sports section, and all.

I actually don't recall the first two lines of Miss Bright. Maybe it will come to me. I think I got it from George Gamow's "1,2.3. infinity"

[Brian Van Snell]

Roger

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
—Geri Taran

Language Jokes • G-Rated Limericks