It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news.
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
Butterworth, Hungry Jack, and the California Raisins, Betty Crocker and Captain
Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife. Play Dough, and two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart, and an estranged brother on the west coast, Sour Dough. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.