Scientific Humour

[Mike Price]

Had this for many years. Written in October, 1967 for the Engineer/Scientist publication (no further info available).........

Since you engineers and scientists are all familiar with the radius, you will recognize the inestimable of the value of the “limiting condition” in the solution of the many of knotty problems. You, will, therefore, appreciate the following excerpt from a paper presented by that eminent theoretical physicist, H. A. Von Flugen, M.b.S., at the recent national meeting of the Tired Leprechauns Chowder and Marching Society, Flying Saucer Division. In it, the good doctor disposes of an extremely knotty problem.

“Let us consider a hypothetical case of a circular, thin-walled, internally stiffened cylinder of typical plastic construction. Considering the cylinder as a whole – or as a hole – an entirely logical consideration, and one which will be shown to be valid in this case – the configuration is conventional in all respects, being composed of a thin outer skin and stout inner members. As a limited case, let us consider the condition of complete dimensional reversal, i.e., the cylinder has been turned inside out. (It will, of course, be assumed that the plastic is completely elastic for purposes of discussion.)

“Under ordinary circumstances, it is a generally accepted fact that the outside diameter is greater than the inside diameter. These, however, are not ordinary circumstances, since the inside diameter is outside, and the outside diameter is inside! In order to evaluate this rather unusual situation, it will be necessary that we explore the mechanics of dimensional reversal. What have we done? In essence, the geometrical characters of our specimen have been rearranged so that we now have the outside skinside. inside.

“Or, looking at it another way, we have now placed the inside stoutside outside. Now, all you engineers and scientists, if the outside skinside is inside, and the inside stoutside is outside, it follows that the inner skin is thinner, and conversely, that the outer part is thinner. This is rather drastic, even for an elastic plastic!

“However, we must not lose sight of the fact that the dimensional evaluation has shown conclusively that the inside diameter, being outside, is the outside diameter and that the outside diameter being inside, is the inside diameter and therefore, that the inside and the outside coincide.

“Using simple application of the most rudimentary Aristotelian logic, we may then conclude that, if the inside and the outside coincide, the cylinder as a whole (or even as a hole) has no thickness whatsoever and, therefore, isn’t!”

Any Questions?

Mike

[Francesca Knowles]

Speaking as one married to An Actual Scientist, I here state without fear of contradiction that the two words "scientific humor" constitute an oxymoron in the purest sense of the word.

[trainjunkie]

Well, in that vein...

A scientist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, 'Jump, frog, jump!' as he slammed his hand on the table.

The frog jumped and the scientist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, 'A frog with four legs jumped six feet.'

Then he cut off the frog's left front leg and ordered, 'Jump, frog, jump!' as he slammed his hand on the table.

The frog struggled a bit and jumped and the scientist noted in his journal, 'A frog with three legs jumped four feet.'

Then he cut off the frog's right front leg and ordered, 'Jump, frog, jump!' as he slammed his hand on the table.

The frog struggled a bit more and jumped and the scientist noted in his journal, 'A frog with two legs jumped three feet.'

Next, the scientist cut off the frog's left rear leg and ordered, 'Jump, frog, jump!' as he slammed his hand on the table.

The frog struggled a lot but jumped and the scientist noted in his journal, 'A frog with one leg jumped two feet.'

Finally, the scientist cut off the frog's right rear leg and ordered, 'Jump, frog, jump!' as he slammed his hand on the table.

Nothing.

'Jump, frog, jump!' the scientist repeated as he slammed his hand on the table.

The frog just lay there.

The scientist then noted in his journal, 'A frog with no legs is deaf.'

[Mike Magee]

I hate to admit, but Francesca nailed it.

[Alf S.]

Hi: Mike Price... Which way is up?
Alf S. North shore of Lake Erie

[dbailey]

Several science professors are using the washroom. How do you tell which one is the chemist? He's the one who washes his hands *before* he uses the urinal...

[Mike Magee]

Originally Posted by dbailey

Several science professors are using the washroom. How do you tell which one is the chemist? He's the one who washes his hands *before* he uses the urinal...

Same thing applies if one has been handling hot peppers, lemme tell ya!

[Steve Outlaw]

Originally Posted by Mike Magee

Same thing applies if one has been handling hot peppers, lemme tell ya!

Now that reminds me of the time when I was about 12 years old at Boy Scout camp and got a bunch of chiggers on my... well let's just say "down there"...and decided it would be a good idea to use a liberal application of spray on "Off". If this scenario seems foreign to you, trust me, this is one of the few fifty-plus year old things I can remember and you don't want to do it.

[Roger C H]

What Mike proposes in the first post is an exercise in a branch of mathematics called topology.

Topology (from the Greek τόπος, "place", and λόγος, "study") is the mathematical study of shapes and topological spaces. It is an area of mathematics concerned with the properties of space that are preserved under continuous deformations including stretching and bending, but not tearing or gluing. This includes such properties as connectedness, continuity and boundary.

Which reminds me of a Limerick:

There once was a stripper, a pip,
Named Virginia who could peel in a zip.
But she read science fiction,
And died of constriction,
Attempting a Moebius strip.

[Andrew Gibbens]

And then there is reverse scientific logic. My all-time favourite is:

Finagles corollary of Murphy's Law says: "Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment."

But..... sometimes, when you drop buttered toast, it falls butter-side up. How can that be?

The answer is that you buttered the wrong side of the toast.....

[blodn1]

My favorite geek joke:
Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide-and-seek.
Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting.
Pascal looks around and hides behind a bush.
But Newton grabs a stick and scrapes a medium sized square in the dirt and steps into it.
Einstein opens his eyes and looks around. He immediately
sees Newton and calls "I see Newton"
Newton calmly says "Nope, you've found Pascal - one Newton per square meter!"

[Jim Bennett]

LOL! You are all a bunch of nerds and geeks, and I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I understand the basis of the the jokes.

[Paul O.]

Originally Posted by Mike Price

“Let us consider a hypothetical case of a circular, thin-walled, internally stiffened cylinder of typical plastic construction.

I actually see the original post as being very much "on topic" for this forum:
thin-walled, internally stiffened cylinder = FGRV
Do any of you turn yours inside out for cleaning?

[Mike Price]

No, but I do turn mine upside down to drain the fresh water tank.

Mike

[Roger C H]

I would like a picture of that.