The Irish Daughter:
An Irish daughter has not been home for over 5 years. Upon her
return, her father yells at her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why
did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not
understand what ye put yer old mum thru? What have you been doing?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff --- Dad, I went to London and got
the only work I could find --- I became a prostitute." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title
deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a saving certificate for $5 million.
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex, and for ye, Daddy, the sparkling
new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a
membership to the country club -- (takes a breath) -- and an invitation for
ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the
Riviera, and..." "Daughter, what was it ye said ye had become?" asks dad. Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff -- a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
Oh! Sweet Jaysus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."