The Perfect husband

[Riley]

The Perfect Husband.......

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings & a man engages the hands free speaker function & begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the shops now, i have found this beautiful leather coat, it is only £2,000. "Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, "go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Lexus dealership & saw the new Models. There is one I really like.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: ' £90,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Ok honey! Oh, & one more thing!... You know that house I wanted last year ?,

MAN: 'Yeah!..

WOMEN: 'Well it is back on the market again, & the asking price is £980,000.’

MAN: 'Well, go ahead honey, make them an offer of £900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 80 thousand if it's really what you want.'

WOMAN: 'OK. honey I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. & looks towards the other men in the locker room & asks:

'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

[james kent]

Not me!

[Lizbeth]

Haha!

[Donna D.]

The phone belongs to my EX. Can I borrow it for a few minutes

[Riley]

Man 1: when i came home from work i asaw my wife with another man
Man 2: Bitter?
Man 1: Yep, Bit him as well

[Keith Williams]

A Real Man
>
>
> A real man is a woman's best friend. He will
> never stand her up and never let her down.
> He will reassure her when she feels insecure
> and comfort her after a bad day.>
>
> He will inspire her to do things she never
> thought she could do; to live without fear
> and forget regret. He will enable her to
> express her deepest emotions and give in to
> her most intimate desires. He will make sure
> she always feels as though she's the most
> beautiful woman in the room and will enable
> her to be the most confident, sexy,
> seductive, and invincible.
>
>
> No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine.
> It’s wine that does all that.......
>
> Never mind.

[Riley]

thats a great joke

[Mary F]

Originally Posted by Riley

The Perfect Husband.......

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings & a man engages the hands free speaker function & begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the shops now, i have found this beautiful leather coat, it is only £2,000. "Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, "go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Lexus dealership & saw the new Models. There is one I really like.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: ' £90,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Ok honey! Oh, & one more thing!... You know that house I wanted last year ?,

MAN: 'Yeah!..

WOMEN: 'Well it is back on the market again, & the asking price is £980,000.’

MAN: 'Well, go ahead honey, make them an offer of £900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 80 thousand if it's really what you want.'

WOMAN: 'OK. honey I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. & looks towards the other men in the locker room & asks:

'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

[Riley]

Through a scheduling mix up, a man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. It's late, the train is full, and everyone else is already asleep. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."