----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 3:13 PM
Subject: Blizzard update: Vancouver
> Blizzard Update Vancouver (Reuters)
> Day 2 Vancouver Blizzard 2008-
> Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of
> winter hell today, as an additional ¼ centimetre of the peculiar white
> stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions
> of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that
> the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from
> Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost
> but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate
> their lattes before venturing out.
> Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except
> for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them
> through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire
> reported that they had completely sold
out of fur-lined sandals.
> Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and
> several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four
> wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.
> Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen
> breast implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health
> Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe
> to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain
> Equipment Co-op.
> "The government has to do something," snarled an angry
> Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I
> could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."
> A Merry Christmas to all & Happy Shoveling,
> Later, like...DIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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