You Know You're a Programmer When ...

[Bigfoot Mike]

You Know You're a Programmer When ...

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When you are counting objects, you go ''0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...''.

When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.

When your wife says ''If you don't turn off that stupid machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!'', and you chastise her for for omitting the ''else'' clause.

You try to s sleep(8 * 3600);

When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page..

When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number...

When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.

When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.

When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.

When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.

When you look for a trash can icon for throwing garbage.

[Chester Taje]

Good one

[Bigfoot Mike]

Great quotes & sayings in the WORLD of IT

"I think there is a world market for maybe 5 computers"
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home"
Ken Olson, chairman & founder of Digital equipment, 1977

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is ingerently of no value to us."
Western Union internal memo, 1876

"640 K ought to be enough for anybody."
Bill Gates, 1981

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
popular mechanics, 1949

[Donna D.]

[b]You Know You're a Programmer When ...

Have you been following me around

[Bigfoot Mike]

Signs You Are "Webbed Out" From Using The Web:

Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?

Your best friend is someone you've never met.

You see a beautiful sunset and you expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 1.1" on the clouds.

You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.

You feel driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.

You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening toward a flimsy guard rail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You frantically search for the "Back" button.

You visit "The Really Big Button that doesn't do Anything" again and again and again.
Your dog has his own Web page. So does your goldfish.

When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You start introducing yourself as "Jon at I-I Net dot com"

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

You laugh at people with 14000 baud modems.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)

You turn on your computer, and turn off your spouse.

Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer, and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."

[Frederick L. Simson]

[MKohlman]

How most programs get developed....

[Byron Kinnaman]

[b]You Know You're a Programmer When ...


When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.

Octal isn't that a kin of the slide rule??

I'm more likely to think in HEX.

[Bigfoot Mike]

Computer Acronyms

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN It Still Does Nothing

APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI System Can't See It

DOS Defective Operating System

BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM I Blame Microsoft

DEC Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis

MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

GIRO Garbage In Rubbish Out

MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for) Fools (&) Teenagers.

[Shannon and Ross]

This is a Good One ~~

http://members.cox.net/clyqz/macs.html

Sorry, there are a few swear words in it, but it is funny ~~