You live in... - Fiberglass RV

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Old 07-02-2003, 10:06 AM   #1
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You live in...

You live in CALIFORNIA when ..
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is, you tell them how long it will take
to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You live in NEW YORK when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to
Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature."
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You live in ALASKA when . . .
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You live in the DEEP SOUTH when . .
1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. "Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After fifteen years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.

You live in COLORADO when . . .
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the
Day Care Center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the MIDWEST when . . .
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different! "

You live in FLORIDA when...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
6. You don't know how to vote.

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Old 07-02-2003, 02:34 PM   #2
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That was great

Morgan you really have this down pat... Since we live in California - we can vouch for that part being true...

We've been in our house 31 years or we wouldn't be able to afford it... We always tell distances by first seeing what time it is and then estimate time to go from point A to Point B.... (miles don't mean a thing - years ago, we use to get across town in 15 minutes - now it's 30 - 35 if you're lucky). And of course, cell phones are attached to everyone's ear... "don't leave home with out it".. A block or two from us is quite a walk - so yes we would drive to some of our neighbors...

That's California living....

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Old 07-02-2003, 07:17 PM   #3
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Avocado is the Mexican passion fruit. Yum.

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Old 07-02-2003, 07:23 PM   #4
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You live in Canada when you need a new thermometer

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50*F 10*C
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.

35*F 1.6*c
Italian cars won't start
Canadians drive with their windows down.

32*F 0*C
American water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.

0*F -17.9*C
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cook-out of the season.

-60*F -51*C
Mt. St. helen freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100*F -73*C
Santa Clause abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173*F -114*C
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the beer keg.

-460*F -273*C
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops
Canadians start saying"Cold, eh?"

-500*F -295*C
Hell freezes over.
The Vancouver Canucks win the Stanley Cup.

with apologies to Rick and Pete and Chester (Canuck fans I presume?) and New York City landlords

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Old 07-22-2003, 10:06 AM   #5
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You're from PA?

You Know You're From or In Pennsylvania If ...

You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey."
You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Pee-ay). How many other states do that?
You know what "Punxsutawney Phil" is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school

You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.

You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least 1 Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."
At least 2 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most
of their windows all year long.
You know what a "Hex sign" is.
You know what a "State Store" is.
You know what a "hoagie" is.
Words like "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie",
"pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.
You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.

You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, ring
bologna, Lebanon Bologna, and Hot Bacon Dressing. You know what a Jumbo sub is, and it doesn't have anything to do with size.

You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and
enjoy it. You want your danish 'heated up'.
You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak
sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver,
Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are towns.

You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is. (At least you vaguely remember.)

You've waited to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in
Lancaster County.

You carry jumper ! cables i n your car and your female passengers know how to use them.
Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with

Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, & Italian

"You guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men &

You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala
Cynwyd,Conshohocken, and Monongahela.

You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade.

You actually understand these jokes and don't think there is anything funny or odd about them, and send them on to other
Pennsylvanians :wave

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Old 07-22-2003, 02:28 PM   #6
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These were jokes?

I've only lived live in Penn's Woods for 34 years so I have either not been here long enough-- or TOO long!


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Old 07-23-2003, 08:08 AM   #7
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My dad is from Pittsburgh and I have family in Gettysburg. A friend from Butler sent it to me and I knew everyone of them - and didn't think it was any kind of joke. It's all TRUE :)

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