Fiberglass RV

Fiberglass RV (
-   Jokes, Stories & Tall Tales (
-   -   THEFT ALERT (

Benita 06-12-2008 08:32 PM


You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again....

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Six months ago, I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.

Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.
Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes! How do they do it????

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.


Mary F 06-12-2008 09:51 PM

:floor :floor :floor

Forgive me, but I love the part about the waistband... :floor :floor :floor

CharlynnT 06-12-2008 10:08 PM


THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.


Thanks for this! I thought I was crazy and so did the elderly woman in the bathroom mirror til I heard this.

Although the woman in the bathroom is obviously old, with her thick fat aged woman neck, she is quite smart. Wise, even.

bonnie w 06-13-2008 01:10 PM

:goodposting: Benita, hit the nail on the head. My sister who is 5 yrs. older and better preserved (must be the wine) said that I had a chicken neck and elephant knees. She also said that they weren't age spots on her hands but freckles, and the lines on the corner of her eyes were laugh lines. You see, there is and explanation for everything. It was such a shock one time when I went to put my hands on my hips and they were gone. I like your explanation better that someone stole them in my sleep--elastic wastebands are now essential. Bonnie, 1946 was a good year.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:22 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions Inc.